Demario Tucker’s Introduction (Reach Pastor)

• God’s word is always creating paths for us
• His word will make the way
• Thank you for giving. Your giving touches people you will never meet in person
• One of our partners, Deanna, everything seemed good, but on the inside she was dealing with chaos and a toxic relationship that drained the life out of her. Someone sent her a TC sermon and she visited. There was a greeter there to connect with both her and her son. Today, they are here serving God. What if the answer to your prayer comes from you being the answer to somebody else’s prayer? Their prayer can be getting answered because of something you’re doing.
• Maybe you need peace, maybe you need a door to open. Your seed is going places that you may never go, other cities, countries, and touching other people you may never meet
• God is meeting your needs and God is the waymaker, provider, and knows exactly what we need, and when we need it

Mike Todd’s Introduction

• Some of you are still on high from the Relationship Goals revival that we had last week; we were about to preach and we worshipped for 2.5 hours
• It was exactly what our souls needed
• He healed our relationships and perspectives
• Today we are doing the same thing
• Worship has been my weapon all week!
• Worship is our weapon
• God is so good that He doesn’t just give us one weapon, the word is our weapon too
• You have to get up and live some things; get up and confront some things
• It’ll be wise for us to look at what the word says
• Today, we will look at what the word says about our relationships
• Mike counsels a bunch of people, and when he looks at the issues, emotional, financial, anger, etc. it always stems from a relational issue – a parent, a first boyfriend, coworker etc.
• If we can get the relationships right, we can get the lives that God intended for us to live
• Some of us are living lower lives because of the people we’re bringing into our life
• The relationships we’re allowing to be in our life can be to our detriment
• We need to get the aim right to hit a goal; we need the right goal so that we can aim
• Declare in faith that all the relationships that I have are getting better and the ones I shouldn’t have are exiting right now
• Everything that isn’t like God is going to the left
• Today, we’re starting week 5 of Relationship Goals Reloaded
• If we look at what God wants for us, we would be loaded for every relationship we come in contact with
• That’s why in week 1, we said we would live the principles of God – we would look at our experiences, but go back to the manufacturer and note that until you go and get the maker’s mind on what the product is, then you will abuse it. Then we started ripping up lists for two week. Finally, last week, we had a relationship goals revival
• If you answer the questions in the following study guide, it will unfold what’s in you and allow God to define what he wants to bring out of you

•  If you look the same next year as you do now relationally, then it’s your fault
• • All the resources and word, then it’s your fault
  • “Oh he keeps cheating on me” – you stayed there
  • God is trying to give you light right now – revelation
• God wants you to have revelation for your relationship
• Revelations: revealed truth
• We need to want God to uncover the things that are wrong
• If the relationship is not good, we need to ask God to uncover what’s not for us – uncover pride, and allow God to uncover the issues in our hearts – give us revelation for our relationships
• When we get revelations for our relationships, it changes everything
• Today’s message was sparked by a conversation with a young lady who said she’s prepared and ready to find “her person” after watching Relationship Goals Reloaded three times and sharing with all of her friends
  • Mike asked what the person was like and she started to list things out (clearly didn’t watch “Rip Up Your List”)
  • Mike asked, what happens when you find that person? Do you change? Do you start doing something now that you have a person?
  • Mike said, do you know that God has purpose for you before a person?
  • She didn’t like that and felt like her life would take off when she got with “her person”.
  • Mike had to declare that “Before the person, you have purpose”
  • Many people are waiting for somebody to press go on what God has already called you to do
  • God wants you to know that before a person, you have a purpose
  • You might not know what it is, or might be discovering what it is, but you have it
  • Nothing is supposed to be hinged on somebody else before you start taking steps in faith toward your purpose
  • Declare that you have a purpose

• “1.Before the Person, You Have a Purpose!

There are extremes, and people tend to air on one side or the other.

Many people who don’t have a person yet (single people), think that their purpose is on pause until they have a person. Mike meets these people all the time.

Inversely, the people who are married and in the relationships try to make the relationship (or marriage) the reason why they cannot fully pursue their purpose. Well we had kids…we have a business…we did this. God is saying that he factored all of that in when He called you. Even so, He still needs something from you.

God didn’t mean for your kids to be the blessing that replaced your purpose. He didn’t give you kids to now stop for 18 years. He still needs something from you. Even though raising them is a part of the purpose, to train them in the way they should go so that when they’re old, they do not depart, that does not sum up who you were created to be.

It’s time to push play on your purpose. God is not waiting for a time when everything is just right. There will never be a right time, where you are never needed somewhere else, to start doing what God has called you to do. You might as well start today.

Since people aren’t finding the person, or they do have the person, they feel like either they can’t do their purpose and it needs to be on pause, or that they have too much to do and can’t make their purpose a priority.

Today, Mike is coming to unlock both of those extremes. If you’re breathing, you have a purpose, and if you have a purpose, it’s time to press play.

Some of you have books on the inside of you. The moment you press play, He will start a plan that will transform other people’s lives. People are waiting on you to press play. There’s a wall in somebody’s house that’s going to be bare until you paint the picture. There’s a playlist right now that needs your song on it.

Somebody has pushed pause on their purpose and God says you don’t need another person in order to press play. Before you get another friend, connection, or networking tip, God says, “press play”. When you press play, it means you trust God – and He’s better than any connection you could ever have. He’s the best PR agent, manager, book publisher in the world – but, you have to have faith enough to press play. It’s time for purpose to start running rampant.

Press play on your purpose, then watch things begin to move in your life. All of this happens before a person.

Everyone wants happily ever after and has an idea and image of it. There’s usually a person attached to the image.

What are essential characteristics for your person? Somebody might be saying tall, junk in the trunk, some money, etc.

No matter what happily ever after looks like in your mind. We need to really look at the happily ever after, “before”. Many people never get the “after” because they weren’t intentional in the “before”.

Message Title: Happily Ever Before

Many of us are looking to another season that will be cut short, or sabotaged, by the lack of intentionality in the previous season.

If you want the happily ever after for your marriage, kids, business, you need to get intentional about the happily ever before. Before the money, the kids, the titles, the relationships, or the person, God says I have a purpose from you.

Let’s go back to the beginning. We can’t find the happily ever before just from somebody’s who’s older than us. We need to go to something that outlasts everyone on the Earth right now, the word of God. Some people may say, it’s just a book written by men. This is the only thing that has withstood every transition, war, racist attack, economic downturn, etc. The Bible says it like this, the grass withers and the flower fades, but the word of God remains forever.

Scripture:

Genesis 2:8-9 New Living Translation (NLT)

8 Then the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east, and there HE PLACED THE MAN he had made. 9 The Lord God made all sorts of trees grow up from the ground—trees that were beautiful and THAT PRODUCED DELICIOUS FRUIT. In the middle of the garden he placed the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Genesis 2:15-17 New Living Translation (NLT)

15 The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden TO TEND AND WATCH OVER IT. 16 But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 EXCEPT THE TREE OF THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”

Genesis 2:18 New Living Translation (NLT)

18 Then the Lord God said, “IT IS NOT GOOD FOR THE MAN TO BE ALONE. I WILL MAKE A HELPER WHO IS JUST RIGHT FOR HIM.”

The Lord acknowledge that He did a lot of good work. He let there be light and said it was good. Then he split the water and land and noted it was good. Next, there was vegetation, and it was good. Then, sun and moon, and called it good. Next, sea creatures and they were good. Then, wild animals and they were also good.

The first time he says it was not good, was in Genesis 2:18.  After all He did, He declared that it wasn’t good for the man to be alone and that he would create a helper just right for him.

God wants you to have a person. Realize this, because He said it isn’t good for you to be alone. With your quirks, and everything, He would give you a person.

Today, Mike will not focus on the person. Instead, let’s focus on everything God gave to Adam before God gave him the person. As people, we can read all of that and focus on the end, i.e., the helper and just wonder when God is going to give us a helper. The helper was the 7^th thing given to man. Did you find all 6 of them? There were 6 things that God gave to men/women before He gave them their person.

God’s plan is for you to have relationship. While everyone does have the ability to make a choice surrounding whether or not to get married, and if you don’t want to get married, that’s fine. God wants relationship for everyone, even if it isn’t a marriage relationship. It doesn’t matter if you’re introverted or somebody who has been hurt in the past, He heals us through relationship. He delivers us and cultivates us through relationship.

You can look at a person but they can’t see themselves. They may have something on their face and never know. Many who are isolated, and not opening themselves up to other people, are stunting their growth. When you won’t let any other person in your life, it stunts your growth because God wants relationship for you.

He wanted it for Adam and He wants it for you. If He wanted it for the first person on the Earth, He wants it for you too.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 New Living Translation (NLT)

9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

There is a qualification of the relationships you should have. If you’re in a relationship, they need to help you succeed. That’s how you know it’s good for you and God for you. Are the relationships you’re in right now helping you succeed? Or do they make you more like how you don’t want to be? Do they make you do things that you vowed never to do? Do they make you gossip when you’re trying to change your language? Do they discourage you instead of encouraging you? Do you stay around because of time served? Maybe you don’t want a new best friend or new friends, because you’re staying the same. You’re not getting people around you that are helping you succeed. If you’re always living in the glory days, then you’re not making new memories. If it’s always about college, last summer, and turning up again, God is asking, “is that what you’re living for?”

God needs you to get around some people that will help you succeed. Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. The reason is because if one person falls, the other can reach out and help. If you fall and your friend is down there with you, the whole reason of having relationship is for when one falls, the other is at another level, that they can reach down with grace and help them up.

The problem is that most of us are tripping with the people we call friends. So what ends up happening is all the stuff I deal with, are the things that they deal with. You both made a relationship based on dysfunction.

Many of us will not do the work on the inside to be in a relationship with somebody who actually calls more out of us. The bible says, “iron sharpens iron”. Instead, we usually get with people who make us comfortable and form relationships out of dysfunction. Then we start to stay in the fallen place for so long that we think it’s normal. Some of us think it’s normal to talk about people, or to steal, etc. We only think it’s normal with the people around us because they do the same thing.  

Look what God says. He says, “If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”

• 2. God Wants Relationship With You and God Wants Relationship For You

This is why God sent Jesus, so that we could have relationship with God.

If you feel like you’ve done so much and you’re too far from God, know that you’re not alone. The love and the grace of God makes a way for you to have a relationship with God.

He doesn’t just want relationship with you, but for you as well.

Since He wants relationship with you, He sent Jesus. Since He wants relationship for you, He sent “Jerome”, “Jerry”, or whoever. He wants relationship for you.

Saying, “God wants relationship for me”, might be a faith statement for you after being so hurt that you don’t want relationships with anybody else. You’re a “heizman” friend and you keep your hand out to keep people at a distance in order to protect yourself from whatever might be done to them.

Before the person, and before the happily ever after, God gave 6 things he desired for us in the happily ever before.

The first thing God is going to give every person in the happily ever before is His presence.

God wants you to have His presence before you have a person.

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  1. HIS PRESENCE

  • Something can be there but you don’t acknowledge it
  • Just like how a millionaire could be in a crowd of people, and someone can say there’s a millionaire here, but it doesn’t matter because we don’t know which person it is
    1. However, if the millionaire stood up and said who he was, and made his presence known, then we would have the opportunity to either ignore or acknowledge that he was in the room
  • Many of us know God is around, but have ignored Him. Today, God is asking that we acknowledge Him and His presence
  • Genesis 2:7 New Living Translation (NLT) 7 Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.
  • There was dust, breath, then he formed. What’s the first thing that a newborn baby does after being born? They open their eyes, then when they do that, they will be in the presence of whoever is there
    1. When Adam opened his eyes for the first time, he was in the presence of God
  • Before you ever get a person, He painted the picture that every time you get breath (how he breathed into Adam), and open your eyes, He wants you to spend time in His presence
  • From his presence, everything else is going to flow
  • From his presence, everything else is going to be taken care of
  • He literally gives us the ability to sleep versus staying up 24 hours
  • Our sleep reminds us of what He did with Adam, gave him breath, and when he opened his eyes, he was in the presence of God
  • Every time you go to the sleep, and God gives you another night of breaths, when you open your eyes, you should make it a point to spend time in the presence of God
    1. Say thank you Lord, you are so good, thank you for what you are doing
  • That’s why Adam walked in the cool of day; most of your worry comes from not spending time with God
  • When we talk about magnifying the Lord, the only way you can do that is if you see it and you get closer to it, that’s what magnification is – it’s taking something that looks far, look closer – because either something is making it look closer, or you’re getting closer to it
  • God needs you to acknowledge His presence before your person
  • This works even if you’re married because some of you barely talk to your spouse and God really isn’t getting spoken to
  • He is saying He needs you to come back to the heart of why He created you which is to spend time with Him
  • Even in this moment, He is saying that He wants your presence because He’s already given you His presence

• CHALLENGE: Before you go on Instagram, call anybody, etc., carve out a time to get in God’s presence

• Don’t just listen (or read) Relationship Goals, be transformed by it
• Before the person, you need God’s presence

• LADIES: Don’t ever date a man who doesn’t know how to get in God’s presence
• Why? If God is not speaking to him, he will not know how to handle you
  1. He needs to be able to go to the one who created the one he’s supposed to be with
  2. Many ladies are trying to find a man outside of the presence and drag him to the presence
     1. You will never be able to get a man to go where he wasn’t already found
     2. You will never be able to make him what you hope he is

• You need to be praying for him, standing for him, but you can’t pull him
  1. If you’re single, stop going after him and claiming he has a good heart and is doing good
  2. Stop trying to pick up a project, find a man in His presence

1. If you find a man in His presence, he will be able to lead you
2. If you’re married and already picked up a project, the Bible tells us that the faith of one woman can save an entire household – you keep believing – you keep speaking life over him

• MEN: Don’t date her because she looks good; date her because she can get lost in God
  1. When she can get lost in God, and you argue with her, then you go to God too, He can deal with both of you – this can cause neither of you to “win” the argument. Instead, you both will apologize
  2. A relationship without a goal is pointless, but a relationship without God is senseless

TO GET A HAPPILY EVER AFTER:

God’s Presence… is Before the Person

What does God Desire for You?

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  2. A PLACE

  • Genesis 2:15 New Living Translation (NLT) The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. He had to work, look after, pay attention and
  • The place you hate, but you seem to be in, may be God’s place for you, not your preference
  • Adam didn’t get a brochure and opportunity to pick which location he would like to be in
  • God just told him his place and he had to be content with where God placed him
  • Your family is crazy, but God placed you there
  • Your job doesn’t pay you enough, and you hate it, but God placed you there
  • The city you’re in – maybe God placed you there
  • People ask Mike all the time when he’s leaving Tulsa, but he says never, unless God moved him. Regardless of the quirks of the place, at the end of the day, Tulsa is Mike’s place
  • A lot of people go down a checklist of what they don’t like and say they’re moving to LA or New York etc., but you better not move from your place, the place that God put you
  • Your favor is not where you would like to be, your favor is in where God left you
  • So if Mike moves from Tulsa, trying to go to a bigger market on his own, to try and make TC blow up etc., all the favor would leave
  • Many of us are living in places right now where there is no favor
    1. We’re living in a place with no provision because we got out of the place that God had for us
  • Before God gives you a person, he wants you to have his presence and to be content in the place
  • Even if you hate that place – Maybe there’s something at that place that you need to get, that you don’t know you need, for you to even be able to get to the next place
  • Illustration: when Mike was serving for 3 years in the youth ministry he wasn’t paid, but God placed him there. He didn’t do it because he had to, he did it because he was placed.
    1. Somebody was about to make a move and God said, “I’m not in that”
  • Illustration: Similar to when Mike was about to get married, he was offered, at 22, an offer to make 100k a year as a music producer
    1. Mike thought God answered his prayers
    2. He had the presence of mind to pray about it and get in God’s presence
• He asked God, if I move to NY just for 1 year, that’s not that bad right?
  1. God told Mike, “that’s not your place” – “if you go, you’ll be successful, but I’ll take my hand off of everything you do” – that scared Mike and he stayed right in Tulsa
  2. God saw where Mike would be now when he was trying to get out of place – what does He see up ahead for you while you’re trying to get out and maneuver?
• You can’t get out of place – stay in place

TO GET A HAPPILY EVER AFTER:

God’s Place… is Before the Person

He also desires for you to have:

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  3. PROVISION

  • Genesis 2:9 New Living Translation (NLT) 9 The Lord God made all sorts of trees grow up from the ground—trees that were beautiful and that produced delicious fruit.
  • God never puts His child in a situation where there is no provision from Him for you
  • Another qualification to know you’re outside of the will of God is that, if the place you’re in has no provision from God, you may be in the wrong place
  • It’s dumb to “step out on faith to a place” if you didn’t figure that plan out in His presence. You singlehandedly made the decision that you needed to go
  • Before the person, God says to go to His presence and He will tell you where the place is
  • The place will be confirmed by God’s provision
    • You will see very clearly if it’s God or not, even when it’s a hard season
      • When the children of Israel took them to the wilderness, there was a new food that formed when they woke up, God provided mana for them – they said what is it, but it was provision
      • The provision might not be your taste, it might not be like how you wanted it, but it will sustain you in the season you’re in
      • What happens when you do not have the right attitude in the place you were supposed to be in? You end up eating what was supposed to last you for 11 days for 40 years when you complain and fail to get in the presence of God and fail to appreciate the place, or even their pastor – they turned an 11 day journey into a forty year death
    • No matter how dry the season is, God will provide
    • This is not the time to move, it’s time to get in His presence, not with another person or another loan – God will provide
      • God will provide for your wedding, for your student loans, for the thing you’re praying for related to your child – God will provide

      4. When you walk with God in His presence and you’re in the right place, you walk around knowing that you may not have it, but He does – God will provide

      5. Imagine waking up every day and not having to worry, just like Adam did

      -You can enjoy your fruit
      -You can acknowledge that there are other places out there, but God put you there, therefore, it must be the best place for you right now

      -You might be missing something, maybe you’d like to have a person, but God’s presence, His place, and His provision are doing okay right now.

      a) When you ask God if He has anything else for you, he does.

TO GET A HAPPILY EVER AFTER:

God’s Provision… is Before the Person

Also, God wants to shape your personality before you get with a person.

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  4. PERSONALITY

  • Personality can be defined as the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual’s distinctive character
  • God wants to give you an identity in Him before you ever get with a person
  • How you are right now is not your identity – it’s what culture, the world, and your family put on you
  • God gave you an identity because He made you in His image
  • Sidenote: Mike wants the church to be able to talk about things, like sex, versus giving culture the opportunity to define it for our kids. We’ll talk about sex during this series and talk about everything that God talked about
  • God wants you to have a personality
  • Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us
  • You need time to allow God into your heart to work on some things to give you a personality that looks like Him and has His ID in it
  • You can have different personalities, but when a parent looks at their children, that parent can still see themselves in them
  • When God looks at a picture of you, He needs to be able to see Himself
    1. It might not be the same exact features
  • Though the personality, features etc. are different, the question God is asking is if he can see God see himself in you
    1. Can he see himself in the way you handle situations, deal with your kids, or view yourself?
  • Do you know He calls you a masterpiece – do you see yourself how God sees you?
  • That’s why you have to give God some time before a person, and if you are with a person, you need to go back around and get this one, and get your identity to be an image of Him on the Earth
    1. Walk in love
    2. Before a person, be able to forgive
• Before a person, be humble

1. Before a person, be able to think of others

• Many of us, when God looks at us, it’s like an episode of Maury – “he don’t even look like me”
  1. There’s always that one kid that looks exactly like the Daddy
• God never wants to have to show up and defend whether you look like Him or not.
  1. He doesn’t want to have to go into education, entertainment, etc. just to say, no that person really is my child
• Genesis 2:8 New Living Translation (NLT) 8 Then the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east, and there he placed the man he had made.
  1. He was proud of us; he claimed us
  2. He won’t think his own children are ugly, just like how we don’t think our own kids are ugly

• Everybody else can think you’re ugly, but you’re my kid – and when you’re my kid, I’m proud of you

• Allow Him before the person, to give you a happily ever before and cultivate the things in your life that you don’t even like right now
• God is proud of you – You’re His and He wants to give you His personality

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  5. PURPOSE

  • Genesis 2:15 New Living Translation (NLT) The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it.
  • He had a purpose to tend, which means, to work, to be passionate about one’s calling, to cultivate, to look after
  • Tend: To Pay Attentions; Apply Oneself
  • Your purpose is not a destination, e.g. “I’ve reached my purpose”
  • Your purpose is revealed as you tend to what is in front of you right now
  • Whatever you do, even if it’s not what you think you would be doing, work – Colossians 3:23 New Living Translation (NLT) Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people
  • Before you have a person, you need a job
  • Maybe your purpose is more about how you’re doing it, not what you’re doing
  • Maybe the season you’re in, even if you don’t like it, is part of your purpose
  • Illustration: When Mike was in high school, he was asked to lead all the pep-rally’s at his school, even though he hated it. He didn’t get a pass to prepare for the classwork he missed for the pep rally. Every Friday he would get in front of thousands of students, black, white, old, young, faculty, staff, and he would have to keep their attention and present to them every Friday for an hour and a half. He didn’t want to do it at the time, but when asked, he gave it everything he had. He got dressed up creatively, even foolishly sometimes, but he was tending to what was in front of him. Who would have thought that 20 years later, his profession, that other people would recognize as his purpose, wasn’t his only purpose. His purpose was in high school leading those pep rallies; he was in his purpose
  • Some of you are discounting what God is counting on
    1. You’re saying you need to find your purpose. God is saying, “if you would just do that one thing, or keep doing that Bible study, or keep going to that place, or keep drawing that art, or keep helping those people (doing it as though it was unto me, not to them)…” – He said, that is going to be the thing that reveals what God has called you to do
    2. That’s why every day, Adam woke up, before a person, before Eve arrived, was in God’s presence, he was in the place that God called him, he had provision, a personality formed in the image of God, and he was working his purpose
• What do you need to do this week to start working your purpose again?

The last thing that God gives Adam before the happily ever after was parameters.

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  6. PARAMETERS

  • Genesis 2:16-17 New Living Translation (NLT) 16 But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”
  • People get bothered by this and frustrated by what’s happening because they wonder why would a loving God give us parameters. They ask questions like, why can’t love just let us do what our heart’s desire?
    1. It’s the same reason why any parent doesn’t let their child do everything they want to do, even if it seems fun to them – it’s for their protection
  • God gives us parameters for our protection
  • God knew how much you could handle and an “except” was given
  • Many of us go past the “except” of God
    1. He says you can have a relationship with them, except, you can’t take it to that level
    2. When you pass that, you step outside of God’s parameters for you
  • Not having sex before you get married is for protection – it isn’t a punishment
    1. The parameters exist so that by the time you find your person, you aren’t used up
  • The parameters protect us so that we don’t have to pray for healing for things we never should have experienced in the first place
  • Illustration: If Mike’s 6 year old asked for a car when she turned 16, and Mike said, “yea, matter of fact, you can have your car now because your Daddy loves you, here’s the keys, go drive it” – it would be irresponsible because he didn’t set parameters for his daughter. Instead, he gave her what was hers, but prematurely. Then she would go out and be unprotected and potentially die because of something her father gave her
    1. I wonder how God must feel when he loses relationship with you. He gave you the house, then you stopped talking to Him. He blessed your business and you only go to church on Easter
    2. I wonder what it feels like for God to be in place where God says all of these things He wanted for Adam, He wanted for you, so you can live a happily ever after, but if you’re going to live a happily ever after, you have to get content with working in a happily ever before
  • 1 Corinthians 10:23 New Living Translation (NLT) You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial.
  • The benefit of maturing in God is when you can do stuff that’s not sin, and you’re so mature now, that you’re not trying to figure out if it’s a sin or not
    1. E.g. how many beers can I have before I’m drunk, because the Bible says, I can sip etc…are you sipping for peace? If you need peace there’s an alternate. You can still set a good example for your kids cause you don’t want your kids to be alcoholics. You don’t want them to go to alcohol or pills in a bottle when they feel pressure. You can go to God and trade him your yolk and He will do something different for you.
  • He can give you parameters because He’s trying to build something in you – in fact, He can give you parameters that He didn’t even give to everybody else
  • God is so good He’ll do all of it before a person
  • We may think our presence with another person may make us feel better, or if we’re in the right place with the right person, everything will be good, and if we get the right person, maybe we can have provision – you might even try to conform your personality to theirs to appear more compatible
    1. If you don’t allow your personality to be defined by God, it’ll be defined by others
    2. That’s why some of you may have took to IG to find an outfit by looking at celebrities to have a personality like somebody you were never created to be like
  • Before a person, He wants to give you a personality, and to start walking in your purpose. Purpose is a journey, not a destination. You don’t “get to” purpose, you walk in purpose.

If God gives you these 6 elements, you can think of them as a strong pyramid:

Then He will give you another person – that person is valuable – that person is the valuable glass vase.

The other person has purpose too and they’re delicate and needs to be handled with care. God needs whoever the person is that they’re getting with to have a sure foundation, because that person is going to carry God’s anointing and be filled with things that need to be nurtured and taken care of by somebody with a sturdy foundation. God wants us to have these things because when the two come together, they should be able to support each other:

This is what a good relationship should look like.

What would happen if the presence of God is taken away? Or the place, or provision, etc.? What if you decided you only need a few of them? Maybe feeling like the purpose part or parameters part are optional?  

If you take away any of the 6 things that God gave before a person, the enemy would love for us to be deficient in one of these things. What happens is we end up seeing failed relationships and broken things after broken things because people stop getting in His presence.

Now what has happened? We just took away one ingredient of the plan of God. The things that are valuable are now broken.

What we do, is spend the rest of our life, trying to pick up the pieces, of relationships that we should have never been in, with people who were never built on God’s foundation.

So what do we do? We try again. Relationship after relationship. “They’re different” is what we say. Different from the last woman, different from the last guy.

You try again, and because you haven’t been healed when God tries to pour into you, you can’t even hold the anointing.

This is what many of our lives look like today, then we try to raise kids out of this.

This is where we try to do business from – where we try to love the world from – broken.

This is the reason why the person is not where you’re supposed to go. If you would give God your pieces and bring them to God, he would trade you and give you a new life. He would take everything that the enemy meant for evil and He would turn it. “Any man that be in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has passed away, behold I am making everything new”.

Then God says, that’s why he fills you up again, this time with the grace of God. The grace of God looks at your broken pieces and says, “I’ll give you another chance”.

The problem is we can get stupid after God heals us. Instead of going back to the person filled with the foundation of God, we keep finding all of these people who are missing an element that God wanted to give all of us before the person.

When you get married young man, young woman, old man, old woman, know your identity in God. Have your personality in Him. If you pray, pray out loud. Don’t let your husband/wife make you feel like it’s “too much”. Declare exactly who you are and that you will not be ashamed because of the person you’re supposed to love.

If you do let them define you, you take the personality that God intended for you to have and change lives. Even if you do it quickly! Even if you hope that if you do it fast, if it’s not that noticeable, and everybody can’t see it.

It ends up empty, poured out, broken, and what happens? Many of us go through this in life. You might even say, “I didn’t break this time, so let me try again”.

Instead, this time, you decide you’re going to settle. You ask God to fill you up as you stand on a foundation that is insufficient.

God says that He can’t do anything at that level.

God intended for your foundation to be way greater and way bigger. Many of us live our whole life in relationships that settle for less than God’s best.

It’s crazy that everybody now has to walk through your mess. People who had nothing to do with it even have stains on them. All because you wouldn’t get a happily ever before.

Today, regardless of your relationship status, it doesn’t mean you aren’t missing some of these things. It doesn’t mean that your personality doesn’t need to go back to the presence.

The great thing is He built in the answer to everything. If you’re missing any one of these, you can go back to His presence.

God is saying today, get back in My presence.

Today, the Holy Spirit is saying, it’s time for you to come back home. You’ve been looking for a person to do this and they’ll never be able to fill the place that God was made to fill.

• 3. If God Isn’t Enough, No Person Will Ever Be!

You can keep searching, keep running, and try it hundred more times picking up the pieces. You can find yourself on your 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th marriage. God is so good, that even when you want to try it again, He gives you the opportunity to try again, but asks, will you come back to His presence so that He can fill you up? God never runs out.

Go back to God’s presence right now and ask Him to clarify your place. Ask him to clarify the parameters, the provision, before the person. Ask God to clarify these things for you.

Prayer: Father God, I thank you. You want relationship for us, and not for us to be alone, but Father before the person, you want something for us, you want us to be in your presence, you want us to be in the place you called us to be, you want us Father God to be provided for and to have a personality that looks like you Father God. You want us Father God to be able to live with a purpose and be within parameters. Father I pray that over my brothers and sisters right now, all over this place, all over the world, God is right now giving a deep conviction is what I feel right now. He wants people to stop moving from the place right now and get in His presence. God we trust you and believe you. I declare that this will be a discovery. That people will have a relationship revelation right now, father that you will uncover things about them. Father, before anybody else, thank you, that you are revealing a playbook right now, as to why and how our relationships are going to succeed. For every person frustrated, who has been broken and hurt, several times, I am thanking you right now that you would be the one to heal, deliver, and set them free. 

Altar Call: Even in this moment, if you’re here and you want to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, this is where you get to trade your broken pieces and become new. It’s what we had to do. Mike was addicted to pornography, a liar, a manipulator, had horrible things in his heart and in his mind. God says, if you just believe in Me, that I’ve already sent the payment for this, I’ll give you a new container. Today, God wants that to happen for you. All over the world, there are people about to make this decision. Last week, over 550 people gave their life to Christ in a moment just like this. Now is your moment. Today is the day of salvation. At Transformation Church, we don’t pray alone. If you’re saying Pastor Mike, I want you to include me in that prayer, today I want to give my life to Christ, on the count of three I want you to slip your hand up. You don’t have to confess everything, you don’t have to change yet. You can belong with God and belong at Transformation Church before you behave. God wants to get your heart, then He’ll help you change your habits. Today is the first step, you have to believe in Him by faith. If that’s you, 1. You’re making the greatest decision of your life. 2. I am proud of you, but more than that, God is so proud of you. 3. Shoot your hand up right now. Mike can’t see you but God can. It doesn’t matter who’s around you. You can put your hand down, we’re about to pray. Your life is about to transform. In this moment right now, Transformation Nation, all of us let’s pray this prayer right now for the benefit of our brothers and sisters that are coming to God.    

Let’s Pray Together: God, thank you for sending Jesus, just for me. Thank you, that you want a relationship with me before any person. Today, I believe you lived and you died, just for me. Change me, renew me, transform me, I’m yours, from this day forward, in Jesus name, Amen.

Let’s give praise for the hundreds and thousands of people that just made that decision. We’re proud of you. God just replaced some people’s vases. He took broken pieces and gave masterpieces.

We want to walk with you:

• Text ‘Saved’ to 918-992-7623 for resources and content to help you to be His devoted disciple

Challenge: For the next 7 days, when you open your eyes, get in His presence. Pray, read your word, put on some worship music. Sing unto the Lord a new song. I believe that the Place, Provision, Parameters, Personality, and Purpose will come out of the Presence of God. It’s a lot of P’s but it’s very practical.

Next week is part 6. To take this thing further, get the resources Mike talked about. But more than even those resources, open the word of God. You can find a revelation for your relationship right there.  

Mike declares that this will be the best week of your life. Everything you touch, you’re going to do, and tend to it on purpose as unto the Lord. We pray over your families, relationships, and your life, that you are called by God. You are his masterpiece, and more than that, you are loved. Thank you Father for everything that you said and did today. We will be careful to give you glory, honor, and praise. In Jesus name we agree. Amen.

Go out and live a transformed life. You are loved so much!  

Get “Relationship Goals” the book and study guide today for additional support:

Latest Arrivals in Merch

SUMMARY NOTES

• 1. Before the Person, You Have a Purpose!
• 2. God Wants Relationship With You and God Wants Relationship For You
• I) TO GET A HAPPILY EVER AFTER, the following are required BEFORE the person:
• a) God’s Presence
• b) A Place
• c) Provision
• d) Personality
• e) Purpose
• f) Parameters
• 3. If God Isn’t Enough, No Person Will Ever Be

Link to full Video: TBD

Join TC for service every Sunday at 11am (CST) and weekly for NoonDay Prayer at 12pm (CST).

Transformation Church would love to hear how God is touching your life through this ministry!  Tell us your story by emailing mystory@transformchurch.us!

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