I Found My Fight // Relationship Goals Reloaded (Part 9) – Charles Metcalf – Transformation Church

Charles Metcalf’s Introduction

• You are here today on purpose
• God ordained this moment before you were born
• We are so glad you’re here today
• God has a plan and a purpose for you
• Happy Father’s Day!
• The Holy Spirit is so amazing that he knew that in this time, we would need to be talking about relationships.
• He knew that in a time of tension, in the middle of a pandemic, in the middle of racial injustice, and one of the hardest times, He knew that relationships, our relationship with him, and our relationships with others, would be important

Scripture:

1 Timothy 6:11-14 New Living Translation (NLT)

Paul’s Final Instructions

11 But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have declared so well before many witnesses. 13 And I charge you before God, who gives life to all, and before Christ Jesus, who gave a good testimony before Pontius Pilate, 14 that you obey this command without wavering. Then no one can find fault with you from now until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.

1 Timothy 6:20-21 New Living Translation (NLT)

20 Timothy, guard what God has entrusted to you. Avoid godless, foolish discussions with those who oppose you with their so-called knowledge. 21 Some people have wandered from the faith by following such foolishness. May God’s grace be with you all.

Fatherhood changes a lot. The way you think changes.

Illustration: People say that you can have either ‘fight’ or ‘flight’. When Charles was younger, he had ‘fight’, in that he would run his mouth, even though he was small. He was a trash talker. When people would try to pick on him in sports, he would have a come back like, “what’s up?!” However, when he realized that they were actually going to fight him, he would back down, and say things more like “listen bro, it’s cool”. Conversely, when Charles became a father, something switched. He was honestly ready and prepared to fight people, anyone. When he became a father, when the burden of being a father was placed on him, he realized that there was another fight. It was always in him. Charles just needed the right thing to be put on him for it to come out.

If you’re looking at 2020 and thinking that your plans have changed and they’re not going how they should, know that there’s another fight on the inside of you.

There’s something that’s about to rise up and you’re about to realize that you were born for this moment.

There’s another fight within you. When Charles became a father, he found his fight.

When he was a kid, he didn’t have anything worth fighting for. He didn’t realize there was anything on the inside of him that made him ready to stand up. When something was placed on him, he found the fight that was always in him.

Message Title: I Found My Fight

It’s hard right now, but by the power of the Holy Spirit, be encouraged that you’re going to find your fight.

The enemy has been trying to attack you, he’s been coming against your mind, and against your family, but today you’re about to find your fight.

Proclaim that, “I found my fight.” – “I know they doubted me, but I found my fight” – “I know I’m still barely holding on to my mind, but I found my fight.“

There is too much on the line for you to step back and worry about what’s in front of you. The same spirit that woke Christ from the dead lives inside of you. What is a pandemic, what is injustice when God is still on the throne?

Today you’re going to find your fight.

There are two types of fight.

There’s a standard that’s different for you. “But you, Timothy, are a man of God;”

What he’s saying is that the standard for you is different than it is for other people. You are a man/woman of God. Therefore, the way everybody else responds, or how everybody else decides to fight, or speak out, you act differently because of who you are. The word says, “run from all these evil things.” Then in verse 12 it says, “Fight the good fight for the true faith.”

If there’s a good fight, then there must be a bad fight.

Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you. The difference between the good fight and the bad fight is as follows.

• 1. The Good Fight: Fights to Change Forever; The Bad Fight: Fights to Change Feelings

This is relationship advice. It’s for your marriage, for your business, injustice, etc.

The ‘good fight’ fights to change your forever; It fights to change things that are eternal. The ‘bad fight’ fights to change your feelings.

In this season, many people in marriages and relationships are just fighting to change feelings. This is not being noted to disregard your feelings or ignore your emotions.

The only problem with fighting out of feelings is that you’ll make decisions that affect forever. We’re not fighting with forever in mind, we’re fighting with a feeling/right now in mind.

For instance, if you’re in an argument with your spouse and begin talking, in the moment you might have an emotion. If instead of thinking about forever, or how this will affect your family, or your children and the generations to come, or the house you’re building, and the culture of the home, and the love you want to show – if you respond out of feelings, it can change your forever.

When you respond out of the hurt of the moment, it can change your forever because you fail to realize that there’s something a lot bigger than this.

Fight the good fight, not the petty fight, or even the fight you’re entitled to fight. Ask yourself, does it have forever in mind? Does it take hold of the eternal life you’ve been called to?

There’s a fight on the inside of you, so please don’t waste it.

You can use the same amount of energy to fight good and bad things. You won’t see results fighting the bad fight.

The good fight says, “I’m fighting to change something that that’s forever.” “I’m fighting for eternal things.” “I’m fighting beyond this moment.” “I’m trying fighting to change the trajectory of a nation.”

We’re not fighting how we feel about racial injustice; we’re fighting to change forever – something bigger and further than us. Hence, we have to submit how we feel to what God has said.

Emotions by themselves are not bad; God had emotion. He walked in with righteous anger and flipped tables. He had compassion for the people. The Bible says he gives you a peace that surpasses all understanding. That’s something that you feel on the inside of you. Emotions not submitted to God are the issue.

The issue starts when you fight out of your emotions, i.e., how you feel, what you’ve gone through, how your parents handled conflict, etc.

Today, we are fighting the good fight.

Have you ever been in a fight, maybe with your spouse, or a friend, and you got so deep in the fight, that about halfway through, you forgot what the fight was about? Sometimes it’s bad to forget what you’re fighting about, but there’s something worse – to not be clear on who you’re fighting.

Many times, the enemy gets you so caught up with what you’re fighting about, that you get distracted and forget who you’re fighting.

• 2. Don’t Let What You’re Fighting Distract You from Who You are Fighting

Ephesians 6:10-13 New Living Translation (NLT)

The Whole Armor of God

10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we[a] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.

You are not fighting your wife, your spouse, the police, a pandemic – we aren’t fighting on a surface level. The Bible says we are not fighting flesh and blood enemies. You are not fighting depression, you’re actually fighting demons.

You’re not fighting your spouse, you’re fighting evil spirits. This isn’t to worry you or scare you. This is to create awareness of who you’re fighting. This will allow you to abstain from focusing on what you’re fighting about.

If you don’t know who you’re fighting, you won’t know how to fight.

Illustration: There’s a rocky movie where Rocky was going to fight Apollo Creed. Apollo Creed is quick; he was just good. Rocky’s trainer gets him in a little cage and he has a chicken. The trainer tells him that he’s going to blade the chicken down and Rocky would need to chase the chicken. When Charles saw that, he thought it was dumb. He later realized that his trainer knew ‘who’ Rocky would be fighting. Therefore, he should change ‘how’ he would fight. In Rocky I, Rocky was just in the meat cellar punching carcasses, but his trainer knew that ‘who’ he would be fighting now was quicker. Therefore, how you would normally fight has to change in this season.  

If you don’t know who you’re fighting, you’ll fight the wrong way. If you actually want to win, you’ll have to change the way you fight, even if it looks foolish to other people.

Even if you’re accustomed to yelling, screaming, throwing stuff, calling names, bringing up the past, you’re going to have to change how you fight because of who you’re fighting.

You’re not fighting your spouse or an individual, you’re fighting generational cycles. We’re fighting spiritual battles with earthly weapons for some reason. It’s like bringing a knife to a gun fight. You’re bringing words/emotions to a spiritual battle/heavenly fight.

You have to bring different weapons when you’re fighting demons.

• 3. How You Fight Changes When You Know Who You’re Fighting

Ephesians 6 gives us a heavenly perspective. It outlines that we’re not fighting a normal battle, not flesh and blood, but principalities of this dark age.

With so many perspectives, we can get caught up with surface level things and expend energy with no impact. It’s like being on a treadmill.

Today, let’s find a fight that moves things, not just from an earthly perspective, but from a spiritual perspective. We’ll find a fight for children that aren’t even born yet and move some things in business ideas that haven’t even come up yet. It’s a spiritual battle moving things on your behalf.

Ephesians 6:14-18 New Living Translation (NLT)

14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.

When you understand who you’re fighting, it should change how you fight.

There are some giants that have plagued your family generationally.

Today, make a decision that it ends with you. Decide that your family will no longer deal with an issue and that you will not walk in anxiety, fear, or worry. Today, we’re finding a fight and it stops with us. It has to stop today.

The weapon revelation:

• 4. Weapon Revelation:

BELT OF TRUTH

Let your security come only from the truth of God’s word. The foundation of where you put your hope should be found in the truth of God’s Word.

BODY ARMOR OF RIGHTEOUSNESS

The Bible says that, He who knew no sin became sin, so that we could be the righteousness of God. Protect your body understanding that when God looks at us, He doesn’t see us. It says He who knew no, sin, Jesus, became sin for me so that I could become the righteousness of Christ. Therefore, when you stand before God, when you walk into a room, the way you carry yourself, the way you walk, the way you talk, it is covered understanding that you are in right standing with God. You don’t have to walk like everybody else, or walk in shame, or with your head down, or in fear. You walk knowing you are the righteousness of Christ.

SHOES OF PEACE

When you’re finding your fight, every single room you walk in, there’s going to be peace. There will be peace that surpasses all understanding. Even in chaos, worry, or confusion, when you walk in a room there will be peace.

SHIELD OF FAITH

Many of us fight with the shield of fear/worry – we put up our shield to protect ourselves when something is attacking us and we’re worried. We need to pick up the shield to protect ourselves, not out of fear, worry, or anxiety, but in knowing who is on our side. The foundation is in faith.

HELMET OF SALVATION

Protect your thoughts knowing your eternity is secure in God.

——————-

Why are you fighting? What is it on the inside of you that has you fighting?

When it comes to fighting, we have to find the right why. For many of us, we’re in a time and season where we’re so caught up with the different “what’s” that we’re fighting for.

Charles titled the sermon, “I Found My Fight” because he lost it for a while.

Sometimes, you lose your fight. It can be easy to look at someone’s life and think it’s perfect and there aren’t times where it’s hard or that they want to give up.

Testimony: At the beginning of quarantine (March 2020), Charles lost his fight bad. A lot of people don’t know it, but Charles has had quite a bit of dark times. The first time he felt it was in 6^th grade. He would yell and talk tough, but was he really hurting and cared a lot about what others thought of him. He packed a bag to run away because of how he felt like he was being treated – people were making fun of him and he felt like he didn’t fit in and was just different and weird. His little brother woke up and started crying, so he didn’t go.

When his first son was born, Charles went “dark”. He was overwhelmed by depression, anxiety, confused emotions, and not knowing how to process them. There was a span of about 2 weeks where he couldn’t even talk at home. It was tough because his job is to talk to people about Jesus, and how good He is, and how much He loves us. Then he would go home, sit in his room, and not say anything.

Then a year later, in March, he got more overwhelmed than he had ever been and felt pressure about what God called him to be. He felt like he wasn’t good enough or didn’t have “it”, or would never be enough.

[Charles showed us his journal called Psalms 151, and it was his book that he was going to leave behind for whoever would read it.]

On April 28^th, Charles crawled under his desk at work and was crying and journaling, trying to debate whether or not he should keep on living.

He wrote, “Congrats, you’ve built a life you’re not connected to. You’ve built something so great and you still feel so empty. The plane is going down and it’s your fault; you’re the pilot, you’re responsible. There’s no one else to blame, but you and now you have a chance. You have a choice. You can pull the ejector seat and hope that you land on your feet, or you can breathe some of your last breaths on your way down.” – and more.

The beginning of the pandemic almost took Charles out because he didn’t know why he was fighting.

He wrote these words hurt and confused, and many people would have never known. He would go on stage, yell and scream, and say things like, “hallelujah, Jesus is going to heal you”. Going back and listening to the prayers, Charles can acknowledge his prayers were to God for himself, even though they were televised to thousands of people.

He realized he didn’t have a big enough why in the moment. When he was struggling, he thought he was fighting for himself and to be able to just go on. Then he later realized he wasn’t fighting for himself, he was fighting for his son.

Charles seriously had a moment where he thought about not being here. Then he realized that without the right why your fight always dies.

• 5. Without the Right Why, Your Fight Will Always Die

Charles had nothing left. He read his Bible, prayed, spoke all the scriptures, did everything and still came to the conclusion that there was nothing there. He decided that he had to find out why that was.

He had to find a why bigger than the moment. You have to find a why that’s a lot bigger than this moment.

Charles realized after everything he was went through, that his feelings didn’t matter because he was called. When someone asked how he was feeling, his response was, “it doesn’t matter because I’m called.”

There’s somebody listening/reading right now that has been in the fight for your life.

You’re questioning if it’s worth it. You’ve questioned if you’ve made all the right decisions. You’ve questioned why you here. You’ve questioned your purpose.  You’re questioning what to do. You’ve questioned if you’re going to give up.  You’re questioning if we should even continue to fight for racial equality when it’s been so bad, for so long. Should we even continue to fight for this marriage when it’s so broken? Should I even keep going in this? Today, you’re going to stand back up.

Charles wrote in his notes, “The devil thought he had me, but I found my fight”. Charles realized that Satan is so afraid of him and what God put on the inside of him.

Charles realized that it was an honor that Saran came for his life. He could say to Satan that, “I bet you are so afraid of what God put on the inside of me. I bet you are so afraid that I would stand up right here and say that, ‘you know what, the devil thought he had me, but I found my fight. The devil thought he was going to take me out, but I’m still here and I’m loving my wife and I’m raising my kids, and as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord’.”

There’s somebody right now that’s been doubting. You have been worried and you have almost given up. You’re going to stand up and you’re going to find your fight.

Today you’re going to stand back up. You’re going to raise those kids regardless of who comes and who goes. You’re going to stand up, and you’re going to love your wife regardless of what happens today. You’re going to stand up for racial inequality and racial injustice, regardless of if other people agree with you, regardless of what your family says, regardless of if something else happens. You’re going to stand up and you’re going to find your fight.

There’s something different on the inside of you. Even if you’re questioning it, or don’t feel it, there is.

You don’t attack the player on the team you’re not worried about. You only attack those that can make a difference. You thought you were being attacked because your marriage wasn’t going to make it. Some of you may think the attack is the lack of your ability or God isn’t with you, or doesn’t have a plan for you, but it’s because the enemy knows what’s on the other side of your fight.

There’s a completely new story for your family on the other side of your fight. Curses that have plagued you for years that are being broken is on the other side of your fight. A nation changed forever is on the other side of your fight.

Charles is going to personally start saying, “the devil thought he had me.” Now Charles is sitting at a place where he’s worked though it. He has moved on and now realizes that it’s his burden to encourage people who feel like they have lost their fight.

Prayer: “For every single person who feels like there’s a fight that you’re facing that you have no idea how to beat. If there’s maybe a journal, some things you’ve written down, some thoughts you’ve believed that just simply aren’t true. It’s not the Word of God. It’s not the truth over your life. In this time right now, I think we’re all fighting something. We’re all fighting different things, we’re all fighting different emotions. We’re all fighting the fact that 2020 hasn’t gone according to plan. It hasn’t gone how we thought. It hasn’t gone how we intended but, just know that God’s not done with this year. He’s not done with your life. He’s not done with your marriage. He’s not done with your relationships. He’s not done with our nation. He’s not done. I’m believing there’s a generation of people that are going to stand up today and you’re going to find your fight. You’re going to find something deep on the inside of you that doesn’t give up; that doesn’t lose heart. Galatians 6:9. Don’t grow weary in doing good for at the proper time you will reap a harvest, a blessing, if you do not lose heart. Wherever you are right now. I want to take a moment. I want to pray over you. I want to pray that by the power of the Holy Spirit that you would find a fight on the inside of you that does not come from your own strength, that does not come from your own power, but it resides because the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives on the inside of you. I’m declaring over every single person right now, that the enemy has tried to come for your mind. He has tried to come for your purpose. He has tried to come for your family. He has tried to come for your children. He has tried to come against what God has said, but today you are finding a fight. That is not subject to what has happened to you, you’re finding a fight that is not dependent on how you feel, but you are finding a fight that comes from God. The Bible says that the battle is not ours, but it belongs to the Lord. I am believing that today you are finding another fight on the inside of you. The marriage is going to last because you’re going to fight for it. Your children are going to know God because you’re going to fight for them. You’re not going to fight the same way everybody else does. You’re going to fight with faith. You’re going to fight with people around you. You’re going to fight with prayer and with fasting. You’re going to fight with the Word of God. You’re going to fight with the shield of faith. You’re going to clothe yourself with the belt of truth. You’re going to walk in peace. You’re going to fight different. There are some new weapons that you need access to. There are some of you right now that even your prayer language is going into another level. Your spiritual discipline is going to another level. When people try to fight on the outside you have a prayer on the inside that stands up on the inside of you and you say “I don’t have to fight in my words because I can fight in the spirit, my God is fighting for me.” I believe that you are finding your fight right now. God, I thank you that there are people that are finding another fight on the inside of them. They’re going to fight for their marriage. They’re going to fight for their family. They’re going to fight for their children. They’re going to fight for this nation. They’re going to fight for the idea that you said is going to come to pass, and I thank you. Right now I come against every lie of the enemy. It will not happen! You will live! I speak against the spirit of suicide. I speak against depression. I speak against anxiety in the name and the authority of Jesus Christ! You have to go and you cannot come back! You have to leave and you can’t come back on the next generation! You can’t come back on the generation after that!  Today we declare that there is no weapon formed against us that will prosper! It can form but it won’t prosper! They can talk about me, but it won’t work. They can say whatever they want, but it’s not going to work.”

[Intermission Song:  Fred Hammond – No Weapon Formed Against Me Shall Prosper]

“Today I want to encourage you that no matter what you’re going through, no matter what lies the enemy has sent your way, that you can fight because it’s not even your battle. We know the end of the story. We know the end of the book. The truth is that we know that in the end, that God wins. We know that the battle belongs to him.” Let’s take a moment and seal this in prayer.

Prayer continued: “Lord God, we thank you for your grace, for your love, for your mercy. Lord God, I pray right now for every person who has doubted their fight. With every head bowed and every eye still closed, there are some of you right now that the fight that you’re fighting for, really is for your life fight. The fight is because you can’t do it by yourself, you can’t do it on your own, and some of you’ve been fighting and you haven’t made any progress. You’ve been fighting and nothing has changed. It’s because you need to have somebody on your side. You see I would not be standing here in my own strength. I’m not standing here in my own power. I’m not standing here because I just decided to get stronger. I’m standing here because I realized that I needed something that was more powerful than me. I needed something that was beyond me, and it was my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

Altar Call & Prayer: There are some of you, the reason you’re here today, is not just to hear a sermon, it’s not just because you got on just for any reason, it’s because this is the moment where you decide to surrender your life to Jesus. What you need to know is there was a fight; there was a fight that happened over two thousand years ago. The Bible says that Jesus hung on the cross and he went down into hell and he fought the enemy and what you need to know is that he won. The Bible says he rose with all power in his hands and it was so that you wouldn’t have to struggle by yourself and so that you wouldn’t have to fight by yourself. So right now, there are some of you that today, you’re going surrender your life to Jesus. You’re going to say, God, I’m done fighting by myself, and I’m done fighting the wrong things. I’m finding a fight that is found in You. Pray this prayer with us if you want to accept Jesus Christ into your life. If you say, you know what, I want to surrender to Him, I’m done fighting. Some of you have been fighting the very thing that you need to save. You’ve been fighting the person that’s been trying to save you your whole life, and today you’re going to surrender right now where you are. If you want to accept Jesus into your life, would you take a moment and just pray this prayer with me, say, “dear Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me, dear Jesus, I admit I’ve made mistakes, save me, change me, transform me, in Jesus name I pray, Amen.

• Text ‘Saved’ to 918-992-7623 for resources and content to help you find your fight

Get “Relationship Goals” the book and study guide today for additional support:

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We’re closely communicating with our partners to make sure they can supply us with adequate stock levels from their distributed network of wholesalers.

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SUMMARY NOTES

1. The Good Fight: Fights to Change Forever | The Bad Fight: Fights to Change Feelings   
2. Don’t Let What You’re Fighting Distract You from Who You are Fighting
3. How You Fight Changes When You Know Who You’re Fighting
4. Weapon Revelation:

-BELT OF TRUTH

-BODY ARMOR OF RIGHTEOUSNESS

-SHOES OF PEACE

-SHIELD OF FAITH

-HELMET OF SALVATION

5. Without the Right Why, Your Fight Will Always Die

Link to full Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxijOXXesrc

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