Mike Todd’s Introduction

• Mike has been gone on sabbatical for almost 8 weeks
• Mike is spiritually constipated and is going to let loose today LOL
• Thank you TC Nation – you’re the best church in the world
• Thank you for continuing to come to church, invite people, give, and allow our message to keep spreading and facilitating people to get saved
• Your faithfulness has allowed us to help people all over the world
• Every year when Mike goes away, he spends 7 days in a hotel to seek God and pray
• God confirmed this series very strongly to Mike
• God is a gentleman, He won’t force his way into your life, He will stand at the door and knock – Let Him in and watch all kinds of amazing things happen

Message Title: F.U.

If we’re honest, that’s how we feel when people offend us, i.e. “F.U”. Some of us say the expletive, and others say regular words with “cussing intensity” – e.g. “forget you!”

Anecdote: One day on a busy family trip, Pastor Mike’s father (The Captain) shouted, “You buncha sorry suckas!” with cussing intensity at Mike and his brothers.

Has anybody had a negative response to something that has offended you?

In 2020, there are a million ways to be offended – racial, political, wearing/not wearing a mask.

Many of us are carrying around so much offense. We want to say F.U., whether it be the expletive or not.

1. Offense is the Gateway to Unforgiveness 

A lot of us get offended when we aren’t recognized for accomplishments, not spoken to on our birthday, etc. Offense is not where you land, it’s the gateway to unforgiveness.

Pain hurts more when it’s pointless.

We’re all going to go through pain.

Paint hurts more when it’s pointless.  Don’t let pain be pointless. Let pain have a purpose.

You left me, but God is setting me up. My pain will not be pointless.

For our pain not to be pointless, we have to figure out how to use it.

Forgiveness University is not about something that is ethereal.

A lot of us have people who offend or frustrate us. The person that frustrates you the most might be your spouse.

Another person has offense because sometimes friends frame you in a way that you aren’t.

For other people, it might have been a business partner who fouled you. Or, other people who didn’t do what they say and faked you. You may have had people who wanted to fight you. Then, in other areas there’s rage and pain because of people fighting you emotionally, psychologically, or spiritually.

There are other people who have faulted you. “Mom and Dad would be together if it weren’t for your”… the enemy has come in and people have told you something is your fault.

For some of you, people may have told you something you didn’t want to hear in a season you were not listening. You listened to them in one season, but then started doing wrong and then they faced you. You’re offended because they told you something you didn’t want to hear. Everybody isn’t a hater, some people are helping. Depending on your heart posture, you can put them in the wrong category.

The people you are talking about may have been sent by God to help you but if your heart is shut down, you can be offended over the right thing.

The people you thought you were down with have flipped on you or failed you.

Everybody in your life at some point or another will fail you – on purpose or unintentionally.

When failure comes from a person, usually we pick up offense. Mike believes this is his assignment over the next 10 weeks (a full university course).

If you made it into this sermon, it’s because you have breath. Let everything with breath praise the Lord.

Let the two words of F.U. to be redeemed through this series in your life. Allow the words to have a kingdom meaning and represent the Holy Spirit practically in your life and to mean, “forgive you”.

Maybe not today, but finish the course and maybe it’ll change the course of your life.

2. The Gift of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a primary spiritual discipline of every Christ follower.

To build a house, you have to make sure your foundation is strong. If you don’t know how to forgive, there’s a crack in the foundation.

The person requiring us to take on forgiveness has already taken on all the offense.

Forgiveness is a primary spiritual discipline of every Christ follower.

In Mike’s journey, he saw that the church teaches us to forgive, but not how to forgive.

There are situations that hold you back from things that happened a decade ago, 10 minutes ago, even before you were born.

For many of us, forgiveness is a principle, but not practical.

If forgiveness sounds cute but is never cultivated, it’s merely a concept.

Forgiveness is a constant decision to lay down your flesh again, and again. Forgiveness is dirty. If you think it’s cute, it’s festering.

Nobody just becomes an abuser. The worst thing about you doesn’t start off big, it starts off small and is able to fester.

You have to be intentional about forgiveness.

Be intentional about learning to forgive.

For far too many of us, it’s a concept but God requires it in His covenant because He already supplies it in His covenant.

It is extended to you, therefore you are required to give it to others.

Matthew 18:21-34 New International Version (NIV)

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold[b] was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.[c] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

Sin:- missing the mark

Peter is saying ‘someone disappointed me’ – missed the mark, they sinned against him.

You sin. Everybody sins. No matter what day of the week you go to pray at 5am. You sin. If you don’t start valuing the grace and forgiveness God is giving you, then you will never be able to be an extension of His love to other people. It’s very difficult to give forgiveness to somebody when you think you’re better. When you think you’re better than your alcoholic uncle, weed smoking cousin, and your cheating coworker.

The line at the cross is even. It’s the same for the white lie, the homosexual, the person who sleeps with a choir member, and the one who lies to their child.

We all need to repent. We all need forgiveness.

Romans 3:23 New International Version (NIV)

23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

How many times should we forgive? We all have a level of person that we think is beyond God’s forgiveness.

• Racist bigots
• Thots
• Democrats
• Republicans

Peter tries to throw out the fake grace number, i.e., 7 times – it was almost from a prideful place.

There are people you will forgive, and people you think are beyond forgiveness.

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Jesus doesn’t bring clarity. He doesn’t say a month, a day, in a lifetime. Let’s say for the sake of math, He meant 7 x 70 per day. It’s 490. If God said hypothetically, you forgive 490 times a day, that’s 14700 times a month, 176400 times a year you should be forgiving.

Forgiveness is a primary spiritual discipline of every Christ follower.

Have you forgiven 1 person this year? Even if they hurt you and it was on purpose.

God wants to teach you how to forgive.

Today, desire to want to learn how to forgive.

That negligent parent, that person who hurt you, that teacher who put doubt to your dream – by the end of this series, you will be able to forgive.

People are getting hope that they can walk free from the person who raped them.

If you don’t make that pain have purpose, it hurts more.

The first step in our process of healing and deliverance:

Luke 6:38 New International Version (NIV)

38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Context is everything.

People read this and say, give money and it’ll be given back to you. Though you reap what you sow is legitimate, this is not the primary thing God was talking about in this. To find context, read, before and after.

Luke 6:37 New International Version (NIV)

Judging Others

37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Be careful with the cancel culture we have.

You ever heard someone talking big online, and they say, “bring that same energy when we meet in person.” You better bring the same energy when you need it.

Bring the same energy when you condemn other people going through things you might go through.

In forgiveness, your measure becomes your metric.

3. In Forgiveness, Your Measure Becomes Your Metric

If you want grace to come to your life, measure grace to people in order to set the right metric.

If you want favor, you better measure out favor when other people’s backs are against the wall.

The measure of forgiveness you have is the metric God uses in your life.

When we don’t actually forgive, we don’t change the measure.

Offense is everywhere and it’s the gateway to unforgiveness.

4. Offense is Either Picked Up or Put On

As offense passes, you don’t have to pick it up.

Some of us choose to pick up offense and keep going through life, and letting people go, and then continue to pick up offense.

Some offenses we picked up, and others were put on us by family members, coaches, and other people. For instance, someone raping you.

Then you have someone who left you at the altar… Or, someone who cheated on you…but, with your best friend.

Offense becomes the seat of unforgiveness, the place where you get comfortable and like to be.

Every morning, when you wake up with unforgiveness in your heart, you can’t extend it to anyone else. That offense now has turned into the bed of your unforgiveness. God needs you to let that go because His plan and destiny for you is bigger than anything picked up or was put on you – by lost situations, teachers, etc.  

Now you’re teaching your kids to hold onto everything, don’t let go, “your daddy left us, he saint nothing but a sorry sucka”.

Then God says, “I have a plan for you, move in purpose.” Then we try to go, but don’t leave without the offenses. We remember everything that’s happened and we bring all the scars.

Then we lift up all of our unforgiveness and try to present ourselves as a holy living sacrifice.

You can’t even follow a simple instruction from God like ‘lifting your hand’ because it was too heavy for you to carry in the first place.

Your Instagram is popping, but this is how your inner-man looks.

Then, it’s hard to fit through the doors that God has called you to walk through.

Hard for you to love your wife, or even hug her, with all of this baggage.

Offense is either picked up or put on.

Matthew 5:23-24 New International Version (NIV)

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

5. God Values the Posture of Your Heart Over the Prosperity of Your Hand 

This is how important forgiveness is.

You can be great for Him, but he rather you get your heart right before you do great exploits for Him.

You may be experiencing forgiveness fatigue, because you forgive and feel like there’s always more.

You may not want to forgive any more, so you may have decided to just live with it.

6. Offense Can Always Be Laid Down 

Forgiveness fatigue is:

Fighting Your Faith – the war of your life just trying to believe God again

Framing Your Faith – everything you see, you don’t see it right because you’re tired of people

Failing Your Faith – that’s why Galatians 6:9 tells us not to get weary of doing good

Galatians 6:9 New International Version (NIV)

9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

God wants your heart posture to be right. You can walk with actual boundaries. You don’t have to be buddies, but if they came into the room right now, what does your heart posture say?

If they called you this week, what will happen in your heart?

God is saying, “yea, it may have happened, or you may have picked it up, but you can always lay it down:

1 Peter 5:7 New International Version (NIV)

7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

This is throwing away all of the unforgiveness. People have forsaken you, but God is always there. You’re casting your cares, not on Instagram, but on God. He cares. This is why God gives us these very hard truths to swallow, but they’re necessary.

Luke 17:3-4 New Living Translation (NLT)

3 So watch yourselves!

“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. 4 Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”

Rebuke:- Directly correct. You can directly correct in love.

It’s not cool or “hard” to hold things against people. God doesn’t applaud anger and a lack of peace to be used for his purpose. He wants to use you but you have to lay unforgiveness down and bring it to Him.

Even if they wrong you seven times a day, and turn around and ask forgiveness, you must forgive.

You must forgive, whether they slept with your husband. They don’t matter right now, it’s about you.

You’ll be in bondage for the rest of your life until you realize you must forgive. It’s not a suggestion. It’s not a good idea. God is saying, even if they do it over, and over again, you must forgive.

Look at the disciple’s response:

Luke 17:5 New Living Translation (NLT)

5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Show us how to increase our faith.”

We need to have more patience, more love, more faith.

7. Forgiveness Requires Faith 

You can’t forgive them on your own. You can’t forgive them because you feel bad or because they deserve it. The only way to forgive people who mistreat you, talk bad about you, and do things to you is through faith. You have to put your faith in God, not in the person. He is over the person.

Forgiveness requires faith.

People like to act like they have faith. You can prove you have faith by the people you forgave.

You declare you want to do mighty exploits for God – but “why don’t you talk to so and so anymore?” – “what happened here?” – You can’t declare faith and have no evidence of it behind the scenes.

This process requires that we stay tapped into God.

You cannot forgive the person who molested you through “good feelings”, or the coach who made you doubt your abilities – but God requires you to forgive them. How? Faith.

We walk by faith, not by feelings. Feelings will be there, but as a believer, you have to walk by faith.

Every step of letting people go is an act of faith. Every time you don’t cuss them out, show up to thanksgiving, or show up to that job – it will be a step of faith.

God is saying, “I want to increase your faith.”

Mike isn’t asking you to forgive someone today, or this week. This will take time, he’s only asking you to pray like the apostles prayed, “God, increase my faith” – not for us to forgive specific people – that’s later.

Right now, we’re just going to ask God to increase our faith.  

Prayer: Holy Spirit increase our faith. We cannot let go of the baggage we picked up or got put on us without you. You said we could come with our broken hearts. Here we are. We’re asking you father to increase our faith. If you’re requiring us to forgive them, and to forgive that, it will be hard. We’re glad that you’re a God that you won’t ask us to do something you won’t help us with. God, increase my faith. Father, some of us need to forgive people sitting next to us, people that birthed us, our coworkers, our best friends, and even the person we see in the mirror. Father, for us to forgive ourselves for the things we did, that we said we’d never do, we need you to increase our faith. God I thank you that you are locking a group of people on this journey to walk in full deliverance. I declare and believe that the chains holding people down are breaking in the name of Jesus. Holy Spirit I am asking you to draw people back every week to hear what God has to say, not Mike – to learn what we need to forgive and how to forgive. Father when we start walking in freedom, and people notice something different, relationships being reconciled, and the joy of the lord being our strength, we will be careful to give you all of the glory, honor, and praise. We thank you and praise you for forgiving us. Increase our faith God so that we can extend what you have done for us to others. In Jesus name, Amen.

Call to Action: We’re begging you to lock in with this series. By Christmas, you can walk in freedom if you understand how to forgive. Declaring over your life this week that it will be the best week you’ve ever had and the Holy Spirit will be able to help you in areas that you are angry in – the areas where the idea of forgiving certain people make you feel vulnerable again. He will do such a work on the inside of you. His spirit will do a supernatural work on the inside of you. Share this with everybody. Stay in the word of God and watch this message again. You will be able to walk and teach generations how to forgive. It won’t just end with you. This will be your alma mater. We will be able to walk in forgiveness.

Today is the beginning of a master’s class/master’s degree that will change your destiny. Go out and live a transformed life.

Altar Call: We believe one way we’re able to forgive others is by first being forgiven. This is an opportunity for you to ask God to come into your heart. We know that God sent his son Jesus to die on the cross on a ‘maybe’. Maybe you will allow me to come into your heart. Right now, wherever you’re at with forgiving people who did wrong to you, you can’t do it in your own power, but by the power of Jesus Christ you can.

Prayer: God, I admit my faults. Thank you for loving me. God I am asking that you would enter my heart. Thank you for saving me. In Jesus name, Amen.

• Text ‘Saved’ to 918-992-7623 for resources to get you going as you start on your journey

You can still get “Relationship Goals” the book and study guide today for additional relationship support:

Latest Arrivals in Merch

SUMMARY NOTES

1. Offense is the Gateway to Unforgiveness
2. The Gift of Forgiveness
3. In Forgiveness, Your Measure Becomes Your Metric
4. Offense is Either Picked Up or Put On
5. God Values the Posture of Your Heart Over the Prosperity of Your Hand
6. Offense Can Always Be Laid Down

Forgiveness fatigue is: a) Fighting Your Faith b) Framing Your Faith c) Failing Your Faith

7. Forgiveness Requires Faith

Link to full Video: Here

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