Rip Up Your List (Part 1) // Relationship Goals Reloaded (Part 2) – Michael Todd – Transformation Church

Charles Metclaf’s Introduction

• Revelation 3:20 New International Version (NIV) – 20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me
• Invite the Holy Spirit
• Maybe there are areas God is trying to step into, please don’t close the opportunity because it looks different than you thought it would
• Be open to how He wants to move and speak through you
• Invite Him in right now
• You need to understand who is on your side when the enemy suggests things to you. The King of Kings, the Lord of Lords is on your side
• Be reminded that God is your provider even during the pressures of this time
• A job or a certain person will not give you what you need, just God
• Look beyond yourself and this moment, and allow God to use your obedience when you give to a ministry that feeds you. Give in expectation with what God is going to do in our lives
• You’re here on purpose; you’re here so that God can speak specifically to your life

Mike Todd’s Introduction

• We are here from all over the world and God is where you are at
• The building is closed, but the church is wide open
• I declare you to make your house, car, kitchen, a place where the presence of God can come meet you
• Today, God has a word for you
• This past week, Mike released his first book, “Relationship Goals”
• It was the number one book in the world this week. It reminds us that all you have, is all you need
• Thank you for supporting Mike’s book and going to the launch parties
• Thank you for being a part of a movement
• You are the church, the organism, not an organization
• Song lyrics:

“Speak to my heart, Lord, give me Your holy word

If I can hear from You, then I’ll know what to do

I won’t go on, I’ll never go on my own

Just let Your spirit guide and let Your word abide”

• God, speak to our hearts in the name of Jesus. Nobody knows how to get to our hearts the way that you do. God, we’re asking that you penetrate areas that have been locked up because of hurt, pain, frustration, and a lack of instruction
• Habits don’t change, if hearts don’t change. Father, we need you to change our hearts. We’ve been dealing with the symptoms and the fruit, but we need you to deal with the root today
• Thank you for speaking to our hearts
• Don’t let us just feel good Lord, let us transform
• We will give you all the glory, all the praise, in Jesus name

Today we’re starting week 2 of “Relationship Goals Reloaded”

Last week we learned about the principles of God being the guide for all of our relationships. If we’re going to do what God has called us to do, and have the relationships God has called us to have, we need to have the maker’s mind, the principle thing in all of our relationships.

So many people want relationship goals, and have no aim. Until we get aim, we can never reach the relationship goals God intended for us.

You’re here on purpose. God wants to divinely aim you in the direction of the things that are relationship goals.

When we’re trending on Twitter, it’s fine, but are you transforming in real life? We need to make sure we’re transforming and not just trending, and that we get it in our hearts to start applying these things and walking in knowledge.

Last week we noted that knowledge means light, and darkness means ignorance.

When we get God’s principles, we start walking in light. For a lot of things in our life, we’re walking in darkness, especially when it comes to relationships.

Nobody showed us, or culture showed us, but Jesus is the light of the world, and when we get His principles, or His mind on relationships, then we start walking in light.

It’s harder to see when you’re in the dark, but it’s easy to look over and step over what may trip you up when you have light.

For your relationships, we want the light to come on. For you to be able to see that he/she may be something you’re tripping over. That the goal of success, that you think you’re supposed to have, may be something you’re tripping over. You might be tripping just because you’re in the dark.

We want light to come on so that you can win in relationship.

Mike is encouraging everyone in this moment, if you are in a place of relational darkness. God told Mike that He wants to change every relationship in your life, because you chose the relationship in the dark.

If you feel like you’re in relational darkness right now, God told me to tell you, that every relationship around you is about to change, even your besties, because you picked them in the dark.

For those of you that are married and trying to get rid of your spouse, you’re stuck, you don’t get to choose another partner right now, you will change enough to be able to look at your situation differently and you’re going to become what you want out of them.

God said that the light is coming on.

When Mike was thinking about the concept of the light and being transformed by God’s knowledge and making His principles first in our life, when it comes to relationships, he then had a weird situation this week.

Illustration: Pastor Mike and Natalie have been doing interviews for Relationship Goals. Someone asked Pastor Natalie if Pastor Mike was everything on “her list”. Natalie hesitated and then confirmed that Mike wasn’t anything on her list. She wanted someone tall, muscular, Hispanic, Puerto Rican, and green eyes. The list she had was made up out of her imagination. We all have some type of list, relationships, marriages, businesses, what time we should get married, build a house, have kids, etc. God is not a God of our lists. God says that many of His children are disappointed because they have made lists, and then asked God to be Santa Clause for good behavior. God is not the God of “the list”.

Message Title: Rip Up Your List

Every list you’ve made without God, that came out of your imagination but had no faith attached to it, today you have to decide to rip up your list.

We need a revelation of relationships, but the thing working against God being preeminent, or the first in our lives, is that we’ve already made a life without Him. We wrote in our journal about the lives we want and how we want it. This can work against what God has for us because He’s thinking about the purpose He put us here for, and we’re thinking about the pleasures we want to experience.

God list and my list will never match.  

The lists are in our mind, even if we haven’t written them down. You may have said, “I’ll only work with people like this”, or “I’ll only get married when…” etc. We’ve made inner vows to ourselves, this is what we’re going to do, this is how we’re going to do it, this is the age we’re going to do it by.

This is one of the greatest frustrations for people because God doesn’t line up with what he didn’t line out.

He didn’t line out that course for your life. You’re frustrated right now because your plan didn’t line up with what’s actually happening.

Today, through the word of God, Mike is going to encourage you to rip up your list.

We make all of these lists, but God would like to revise every list that has ever been made without Him. God would like to call a re-do to the situation and to your life in relationship.

The List:- a set of predetermined, self-fabricated, ideals of a specific person, situation, or outcome that was written down, continually thought about, or verbally communicated – by which erroneous expectations become goals for achievement.

In other words, it’s the stuff we said would happen, with no grounding, just because we felt it. “I saw something on TV and said, I’ll build my dream house by the time I’m 24”, then you start saying it over and over until it becomes an erroneous (wrong; incorrect) expectation in your life. Then when you’re 24, you’re asking God why He isn’t with you and it hasn’t happened. However, God didn’t plan that. You made it up and put it on your list with God nowhere in that.

You get discontent, not because God is not doing something He said He was going to do, but because of somewhere you thought you would be, that God never promised you would be. If God’s purpose is going to be preeminent, you have to take away anything you came up without Him.

Rip up your list.

Rip Up Your List Because:

1. Your List For You, Will Never Look Like God’s List For You

When you make a list of how you want your relationships, life, and family to be, your list factors in what you want. When God makes a list of how He wants your life to be, your family, and how He has designed your relationships to be, He factors in what you need.

God factors in what you need. Many of us never pick what we need, we pick what we want.

The job you’re working at right now may not be what you wanted, but it may be what you need for your character to be developed some more. You may not have the family you wanted to be born into, but something birthed in the pain that you went through was what you needed for the purpose that God has called you to.

When you personally fabricate things based on our feelings, no prayer, no prophetic insight, no word from God, just feelings, e.g. “before I turn 40, I’ll be retired” – where did that come from? Where did you make it up? You say you’ll run your own business by next year, then you’re frustrated because you personally fabricated things and never went to God for it. This is one of the main reasons why relationships don’t work out, and then they break down, because of fabricated expectations of yourself or somebody else. You put it in your list, that they would be athletic, emotional, understand your childhood scars, like the same things etc. All of these things were made by you, and not cosigned by God.

Then when God presents what you actually need, you get mad. Per the Bible, His way is not the way you would choose. That’s where trust comes in. That’s why some people have to rip up their lists.

You’re frustrated with where you are in life, relationships, business etc.

The formula of frustration can change your life.

• 2. Formula of Frustration

Fabricated Expectations + Failed Reality = Feelings of Frustration

You make up things you don’t even tell anybody, for example, your 30^th birthday will be epic. You expected to turn up for your birthday, but the reality is that it occurred during a pandemic. Now you have feelings of frustration, not because you didn’t have people around you that appreciated you, sent you cards, and text messages, but if you didn’t have this fabricated expectation you could have appreciated what was actually there. Instead, because you made something up that wasn’t supposed to be there, now you’re feeling frustrated and downtrodden. It’s time for you to rip up the list.

No matter what area of your life, relationships, marriage, business, etc. it’s time to go back to what God is saying. Too many people are frustrated.

You have to rip up your list because God is more committed to your destiny than he is to your desires.

• 3. God is More Committed to Your Destiny than He Is To Your Desires

God is more committed to the destiny that He sent you here for, than your own desires.

Psalm 37:4 English Standard Version (ESV)

4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Therefore, when you choose to put yourself in the Lord, when you choose to put your plans, in the Lord, when you choose to put your relationships in the Lord, when you choose to put your business plans in the Lord, then it says, He will give your heart what is should desire. Not that He’ll give you everything in your heart that’s ugly and not like Him, i.e., your heart’s desire.

He says, when you get surrounded by My will, My idea for you, and an accountability. What’s in our heart is bad, the Bible tells us that the heart is more deceitful than anything; without God, the heart can naturally be selfish, prideful, and self-serving. God says, that’s why you have to come out of yourself and get in Me. When you delight yourself in the Lord, He says I’ll change the things in your heart and you’ll start wanting the things He wants for you.

You’ll go from wanting money, to wanting to be effective. You’ll go from being impressive, to wanting to be impactful.

Illustration: This is Mike’s life. When he thought he’d be an icon in the music industry, he wanted it for what it would make him feel like. If you told him a million people would be following him on anything, it would’ve gone straight to his head. Instead, God decided to take Mike the humble route and get Mike “in Him”. God decided to transition Mike from the music industry to serving youth who don’t even know if they want God, to work though their 13 and 14 year old problems for an hour and a half and really care about it, and take it home and pray for them and their parents. God ensured that Mike would get “in Him”, and when you’re “in Him”, God will start to change your desires. Mike went from saying he never wanted a platform, to saying he would never want to be without a platform to be able to give God’s name glory. He was changing Mike’s hearts desires and giving him what to desire.

Some of your desires have not been in the Lord. God is saying, rip up that list. Tear that thing up. When you get God’s desires for you, you will live the life that you’re really searching for.

It’s not working, and you still feel unfulfilled because it was never meant to fill you up unless it came from the source.

Proverbs 19:21 New International Version (NIV)

21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

We all have these plans/lists and things in our calendars. For instance, “by this time, I’ll have this” or, “I’ll have this many kids by now”, or “me and my family will be doing this”, etc… we all have plans.

Mike came to a place where he ripped up his list to have millions of dollars by 25 and being a world renowned music producer. He ripped them because he was fighting a losing battle. God says that you can go ahead and keep doing all of that, but at the end of the day, God’s purpose will prevail.

That’s why you often see rappers and artists that become Christians at the end of their life. That’s because at the end of the day, you can keep doing all these things that take from you, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.

You can keep chasing all the kitty cat, and trying to get everyone to like you, but God says that at some point, you’ll get tired, and at some point, it won’t work for you anymore, and at some point, His purpose will prevail.

Mike is hoping to shake you out of some of the cycles you’ve been in.

You need to rip the list. I don’t care if it’s in your relationship, or family, God needs you to trust him, because at the end of the day His purpose will prevail.

• 4. A God Dream is Never Created Based on Your Preference; A God Dream is Created Based on Your Purpose

When God makes you, He doesn’t say, “let Me see what they want, let Me throw in some…”, instead, He says, “what have I purposed them for?” If He says, “If I purposed them to bring my name glory in this area, what is the path I’m going to take them on, and how am I going to get them there, and what relationships…”.

God built choice in all of us, so when we get God’s plan, we still have the choice to obey the plan of God, or to go our own way.

Rip up the list. You don’t want what’s on it; you want what God wants for you.

God wants true fulfillment for you. You don’t have to strive for it, you can stride into it.  

You will have actual satisfaction in God dreams. A God dream is never created based on your preference; a god dream is created based on your purpose.

If you want to talk about dreams, we can look at Joseph.

Genesis 37:3-8 New Living Translation (NLT)

3 Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age. So one day Jacob had a special gift made for Joseph—a beautiful robe. 4 But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them. They couldn’t say a kind word to him.

5 One night Joseph had a dream, and when he told his brothers about it, they hated him more than ever. 6 “Listen to this dream,” he said. 7 “We were out in the field, tying up bundles of grain. Suddenly my bundle stood up, and your bundles all gathered around and bowed low before mine!”

8 His brothers responded, “So you think you will be our king, do you? Do you actually think you will reign over us?” And they hated him all the more because of his dreams and the way he talked about them.

Joseph’s dream was that he would be king. Joseph’s list probably looks like:

Joseph’s List:

Dream >> Support >> Opportunities >> Promotion >> Palace

If you read through the next 4 chapters, what happens to him is what happens in many of our lives.

We have a list in a preferred way, the way we made up for it to go, but then we have real life.

Joseph’s Life:

Dream >> Betrayal >> Slavery >> Prison >> Palace

We can think that our dreams will be easy, linear, promotion, and just up, up, up to reach the palace.

Joseph’s real life didn’t look like his real list. Some of us are mad because our real life doesn’t look like our real list.

You can rip up the list, because if God is with you, and you are going through something, you still can reach your palace.

Even when our life doesn’t look like the list, you still can reach your palace.

Some of us have felt like our dream has dropped.

Joseph started out with his dream, and then the dream drops. He goes from the dream, to literally being thrown into a pit. He experienced, betrayal, slavery, and prison. Just because your relationship is in the pit, doesn’t mean it’s over.

The path to the palace, many times passes through the pit.

• 5. The Path to The Palace, Many Times Passes Through The Pit

So you started off with the dream (list), with the relationship that was supposed to last, and it goes through insanity, perversion, cheating, and lying, and it takes being with God to still deliver you to a place of being to a palace, to be able to help other marriages. You don’t get there going some smooth route. The bottom can drop out. When you have nothing else, you have to trust in God.

There are people watching (reading) that have been through divorces, infidelity, and hurt, who’s kids have walked away, and business partners have taken advantage. You’re feeling stuck because you went through the betrayal and what feels like slavery/prison. God says, if you rip up your list, God can use all of that and still deliver you to the palace (the place where your purpose is fulfilled).  

Psalm 23:4 New King James Version (NKJV)

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Even when you’re in the valley or the low place, you don’t have to fear because God is with you.

What God needed him to go through, none of us would have picked.

None of us would pick betrayal, or COVID-19, for our list. Nobody put it on their dream board or year plan. Nobody picked it, but God’s using it to develop you and expose what you really trust. He’s using it.

What happens when you get a dream, and the bottom drops out, and it doesn’t looks like what you thought? You’re so mad at God that God can’t even speak to your heart anymore. You’re so frustrated over a list you made, that didn’t come to reality, it was fabricated, ideal, and a fantasy, but when it didn’t happen, it devastated you so much, that now you can’t hear when God is trying to heal your heart.

He is trying to bring people into your life to help you, but you’re so jaded and broken, and so anti, that God is begging you to rip up your list, right now.

Take everything you put as an erroneous expectation, and say God, I’m ripping it up. Declare that it is no longer what you will hold yourself or anybody else to.

Can we rewrite what the purpose looks like in my life? Rewrite what success looks like in our family? Aren’t you tired of being in the pit and comparing yourself to everybody else’s Instagram feed with their marriages, pregnancies, and dream homes? You’re frustrated and discontent because you made a list.

By the power of the Holy Spirit, it’s not going to be easy, but declare that today, you’re ripping up the list. Rip it up.

Joseph was sold into slavery, and when he arrived, his brothers literally ripped off the representation of his list. This was a metaphoric sign of what was happening to any list that he thought.

They literally ripped off what represented his favor.

Genesis 37:23-36 New Living Translation (NLT)

23 So when Joseph arrived, his brothers ripped off the beautiful robe he was wearing. 24 Then they grabbed him and threw him into the cistern. Now the cistern was empty; there was no water in it. 25 Then, just as they were sitting down to eat, they looked up and saw a caravan of camels in the distance coming toward them. It was a group of Ishmaelite traders taking a load of gum, balm, and aromatic resin from Gilead down to Egypt.

26 Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain by killing our brother? We’d have to cover up the crime.[a] 27 Instead of hurting him, let’s sell him to those Ishmaelite traders. After all, he is our brother—our own flesh and blood!” And his brothers agreed. 28 So when the Ishmaelites, who were Midianite traders, came by, Joseph’s brothers pulled him out of the cistern and sold him to them for twenty pieces of silver. And the traders took him to Egypt.

29 Some time later, Reuben returned to get Joseph out of the cistern. When he discovered that Joseph was missing, he tore his clothes in grief. 30 Then he went back to his brothers and lamented, “The boy is gone! What will I do now?”

31 Then the brothers killed a young goat and dipped Joseph’s robe in its blood. 32 They sent the beautiful robe to their father with this message: “Look at what we found. Doesn’t this robe belong to your son?”

33 Their father recognized it immediately. “Yes,” he said, “it is my son’s robe. A wild animal must have eaten him. Joseph has clearly been torn to pieces!” 34 Then Jacob tore his clothes and dressed himself in burlap. He mourned deeply for his son for a long time. 35 His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave[c] mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep.

36 Meanwhile, the Midianite traders[d] arrived in Egypt, where they sold Joseph to Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, the king of Egypt. Potiphar was captain of the palace guard.

Looking at verse 28, what does it feel like to have the people who betrayed you, come back and act like it’s all good, but the only reason they were pulling you out is to sell you out again.

If we look at verse 36, he’s sold again. For most of us, this would be it. We would start to wonder where God is. He gave us a dream and then we’re betrayed by the people closest to us. That’s where betrayal really happens and the relationship holes are. We’re dealing with relationship holes.

That’s why we’re getting in wrong relationships where we then expect people who don’t know us to fulfill things that happened to us by people who were supposed to love us. The truth is, the only person who can fix it, is not the offender, or the person coming in, it’s the God who created you.

Joseph comes into this point wondering how he went from trying to be helpful to his brother, to being sold out and into slavery. From a place of being comfortable, to a foreign land. How is God using this? That’s where somebody is right now.

We start to wonder how God is using betrayal. That’s why we should start ripping up our list, because every betrayal is not bad. Some betrayals are a blessing. If the betrayal didn’t happen, he wouldn’t have ended up in Egypt.

• 6. The Betrayal Wasn’t Meant to Break You; The Betrayal Was Allowed to Take You

It was allowed to take you to your next destination that you would not have gone to, had it not been some hurt involved.

Some of us are so comfortable, that God has to allow hurt to move you from your home. Some of us are so good with being in a mediocre relationship, that God has to allow their true colors to come out, or for you to be put on blast enough to move out of the situation.

God uses the pain of betrayal, many times, not as a thing that’s supposed to break you, but as a thing that’s supposed to take you. Take you to the place you wouldn’t go on your own.

What would make Joseph leave his dad (his favor) and go to Egypt? Nothing. He was in a comfortable spot where he was favored. However, God says your purpose, the purpose I have for you is so much bigger than being comfortable in this little space. I want to make you comfortable in a big space. Do you want it, even if betrayal is a part of the plan? That’s the thing, we don’t want that on our list. We don’t want people walking out on us. We don’t want to be furloughed from our job.

For some of you, corona was the thing God had to allow to get you out of that job. For some of us, this pandemic was allowed. They furloughed you to see your kids again. You have been providing for your kids, but you haven’t seen them. You don’t know the stages of life they’re in and what they’re struggling with. Now that you’re in their house and you see their face is always down in the phone and you ask, “what are you looking at?”, this is the first time you’ve seen your kids in ten years. God is thinking about everything with your purpose in mind, not your preference in mind.

Joseph had to go through betrayal, because many times, the worst relational devastation is God’s vehicle of transportation.

Mike has had a lot of failures in his life, and one key to ripping up your list is to:

Always Look for God’s Favor in the Failure!

Look for his favor in the failure. It hurts. It wasn’t a part of the plan, or the dream, it wasn’t on your list. God says, “I leave hints of my favor, in every failure”.  

He leaves hints of his favor in the failure. We can see this in Joseph, who was sold to slavery in Potiphar’s house. Verse 3 lets us know that the Lord was with Joseph.

He was betrayed and put into slavery, but the Bible shows that God was with him. In the midst of the failure and the pain, God is with you.

It’s best to take a bad situation with God, than a good one without Him. The bible says, “If God be for me, then who can be against me?” That’s where we need to recognize our advantage in the middle of a bad situation.

The Lord was with [Your Name], so she/he succeeded.

Genesis 39:2-6 New Living Translation (NLT)

2 The Lord was with Joseph, so he succeeded in everything he did as he served in the home of his Egyptian master. 3 Potiphar noticed this and realized that the Lord was with Joseph, giving him success in everything he did. 4 This pleased Potiphar, so he soon made Joseph his personal attendant. He put him in charge of his entire household and everything he owned. 5 From the day Joseph was put in charge of his master’s household and property, the Lord began to bless Potiphar’s household for Joseph’s sake. All his household affairs ran smoothly, and his crops and livestock flourished. 6 So Potiphar gave Joseph complete administrative responsibility over everything he owned. With Joseph there, he didn’t worry about a thing—except what kind of food to eat!

We have to be what God requires of us, even when it’s not fair. Joseph was in an unfair situation and still had to do what God required him to do.

Some of us are in unfair situations dealing with stuff we didn’t write on our list. God said, rip the list. If you would ever get your eyes on God, and if you would serve, even in the sucky situation, it would change the trajectory of everything going on.

There are people watching you in your pit that will realize that God is with you, even though it’s a bad situation. Joseph got an upgrade in the midst of the pit (verse 4).

There are situations that will be blessed for your sake, in the midst of the pit. Potiphar’s house was blessed for Joseph’s sake (verse 5).  

Situations will be blessed because you decided in the middle of the pit, when your list got ripped up, that you would still serve, you would still love, you would still forgive, you would still show up, and you would still encourage, in the midst of the pit.  

He will promote you in the pit.

People will label you slave, but you’ll walk around with the authority of a boss. People will say you’re not enough, but you’ll have the pen that strokes checks. People will say you’re too young, and God will say, “I put my hand on you”. So whatever pit you’re in, that’s why you have to rip up your list. You can’t be stuck to what you thought it was going to be. You have to sell out to what God is saying it is.

You have to rip up your list because faithfully serving the season always produces success.

• 7. Faithfully Serving the Season Always Produces Success

Even if it doesn’t look like what’s on your list, faithfully serving the season always produces success.

Stop wishing you were somewhere else, and faithfully serve this season.

Rip up your list.

You thought you’d have kids, or would have a business, and you’re still mopping floors, and it doesn’t feel like God is with you, but you need to forget where you thought you would be and faithfully serve this season. Rip up your list.

Prophetically, you need to get some paper and write your list. Be specific and faithfully serve the season you’re in, whether it be singleness, infertility, or a marriage that is hard and not working.

If you rip your list and stop comparing what is, to what you wish it would be, He can bring success to you in that very season.

That’s why you have to know that the relationship goal is not a person, it’s God.

Joseph goes to this thing and serves in this season. Even college graduates are trying to figure out what they need to do. God says, “serve your season”. There are people that have lost a loved one, and all their focus is going to grieving and hurting. There’s a time and a season for that, but the enemy would love to keep you in a trap of that, because that wasn’t on your list. “I never thought I would lose my father, I never thought I would lose my granny, I never thought I would lose my big mama, I never thought this would happen, and it happened.” Now you’re in a pit that wasn’t on your list, you wouldn’t have chosen that.  

God is encouraging you. He has factored in everything that would look like a failure. He saw it when he called you, that’s why he gave you the dream in the first place.

It’s possible that some nights while Joseph was in slavery, he could only think about the dream that God gave him.

You’ve seen yourself in a place that’s not looking like relationally what you’re in right now. You’re frustrated because you set erroneous expectations that God wasn’t in. Your list has been interrupted, but remember, God is not committed to your desires. He’s committed to your destiny.

Joseph went through many more things. He was doing his thing, serving in his season, then out of the blue, while trying to keep everything calm, then he catches a case with a cougar.

 Genesis 39:6-10 New Living Translation (NLT)

6 So Potiphar gave Joseph complete administrative responsibility over everything he owned. With Joseph there, he didn’t worry about a thing—except what kind of food to eat!

Joseph was a very handsome and well-built young man, 7 and Potiphar’s wife soon began to look at him lustfully. “Come and sleep with me,” she demanded.

8 But Joseph refused. “Look,” he told her, “my master trusts me with everything in his entire household. 9 No one here has more authority than I do. He has held back nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How could I do such a wicked thing? It would be a great sin against God.”

10 She kept putting pressure on Joseph day after day, but he refused to sleep with her, and he kept out of her way as much as possible.

Many people are trying to find where the line is with sin. We need to rip up that list to. You need to be above reproach.

Some protection and parameters you need for your relationship will need to be extreme, like turning off the DMs, changing cell phone numbers, coming off websites, or even software for your spouse to see what you’re looking at. If you don’t think it takes all of that, you can fall into the trap of the cougar. It might not be an actual woman, or purpose, but a trap that the enemy has set for you. The enemy set this trap for Joseph.

Many times we don’t do things because of how a person would feel, but what about how God feels? When you sleep with such and such because they want it, you think about how bad it would make a person feel after, but it can make God feel horrible. God saved you from that last relationship and brought grace to your life, is God considered in the situation?

10 She kept putting pressure on Joseph day after day, but he refused to sleep with her, and he kept out of her way as much as possible.

Then she lies on him. She catches him one day when nobody is around, rips off his robe, then he runs out. What happens when God redeems your situation, puts you in a better situation, and then says, but it isn’t the end of the ripping?

What happens when he thought he had it made and God says, “I have to use this cougar to get you where I need you to be”?

She lies and says Joseph tried to rape her.  

Genesis 39:11-20 New Living Translation (NLT)

11 One day, however, no one else was around when he went in to do his work. 12 She came and grabbed him by his cloak, demanding, “Come on, sleep with me!” Joseph tore himself away, but he left his cloak in her hand as he ran from the house.

13 When she saw that she was holding his cloak and he had fled, 14 she called out to her servants. Soon all the men came running. “Look!” she said. “My husband has brought this Hebrew slave here to make fools of us! He came into my room to rape me, but I screamed. 15 When he heard me scream, he ran outside and got away, but he left his cloak behind with me.”

16 She kept the cloak with her until her husband came home. 17 Then she told him her story. “That Hebrew slave you’ve brought into our house tried to come in and fool around with me,” she said. 18 “But when I screamed, he ran outside, leaving his cloak with me!”

Joseph Put in Prison

19 Potiphar was furious when he heard his wife’s story about how Joseph had treated her. 20 So he took Joseph and threw him into the prison where the king’s prisoners were held, and there he remained.

What happens when I made a list for my life, and every step of the way, God says He’s with me? However, I get a dream, get betrayed by my brothers, thrown in slavery, and then get lied on and put in prison. The whole list has been ripped up and that’s how many of us feel relationally.

Nevertheless, look what our loving God does. God takes Joseph’s prison, and starts him on a trajectory for the place where he should’ve been all along. He gets him to go from a foreign land, betrayed by his brothers, taken to Egypt in a guard’s house that works for the palace, gets thrown into the palace’s prison, because that’s where he needed to be, to eventually become the second most powerful person in all of Egypt.

The reason you need to rip up your list is because prisons can become platforms.

•  8. Prisons Become Platform

Joseph went from a prison to a platform because he faithfully served, no matter what season he was in.

He didn’t get mad and declare that he lost his job, or they left him for somebody else, or he cant stand this. Joseph didn’t pout or blame God. He said, if I’m here, then there must be some reason, and something you’re doing.  

The song says:

Even when I don’t see it, You’re working; Even when I can’t feel it, You’re working; You never stop, You never stop working.

If you’re in a relational pit, or frustrated about expectations, or if your list isn’t happening right now, today, you’re being asked to rip up the list.

The presence of God is saying, “I can take you from the pit to the palace if you would trust me”.

Genesis 39:21-23 New Living Translation (NLT)

21 But the Lord was with Joseph in the prison and showed him his faithful love. And the Lord made Joseph a favorite with the prison warden. 22 Before long, the warden put Joseph in charge of all the other prisoners and over everything that happened in the prison. 23 The warden had no more worries, because Joseph took care of everything. The Lord was with him and caused everything he did to succeed.

Joseph was in prison, but the Lord was with him. He showed him his faithful love.

When the favor of God is on your life, nothing can stop it. Not betrayal, not being lied on, not even prison.

God’s plan, from the very beginning is for you to succeed, so rip up your list. His path there will never look like your path there. The people there will not look like the people you would choose to be there.

You may not choose something, but you may need it. Natalie didn’t choose Mike, but she needed him, and vice versa. Their desires became God’s desires. They were given a divine prophecy from God, and that was the only thing He gave them to hold on from His list. Rip up your list and let God rewrite it.

• 9. Rip Up Your List and Let God Rewrite It

Get a piece of paper, write down the list of things you came up with on your own, then rip it! You may want to put specific names, or “success”, “business partnerships with so and so”, etc. We’ve been building lists when God was nowhere around. We’ve been frustrated by notions like “having a house built” when God may have someone give you a house. He’s saving you for something, not keeping you from anything. If you go off of your list, you’ll miss the blessing He has for you…the person you’re supposed to be in relationships, the way you’re supposed to live, and the purpose He has called you to.

It’s going to happen. You’re going to make it to the palace.

Rip up your list on the count of three. The presence of God is going to come in this prophetic sign right now.

Prophetically sit here in this moment and imagine everything you built without God. Everything that you said in your heart and confessed out of your mouth, and on the count of three, rip it up. One, we are making a decision to never live without God writing our list. Two, today we stop being frustrated over what has not happened and we get in line with what God wants to happen. Three, rip the list.

The presence of God is in this place. Be joyful. Rip the other list if you have one.

Let God know that from now on, we’ll let Him rewrite it.

You’ll still have a glorious marriage. Rip the list.

Prayer: Praying for everyone watching live, on rebroadcast (or reading), Your Holy Spirit is right there with us. Lord I thank you for anyone that can’t see anything right now because of so much hurt. I thank You by your spirit You’re revealing to them, the list that they’ve made. The things they have said that they want and have to have, all this other stuff. Father God, I thank you by the presence that is in this moment, that you are allowing them to see and they are ripping up their list God. I declare that we are coming into a place where we’re going to spend time with You and let You give us a dream. Father God, I thank you that Your dream, no matter if it goes to a pit, that you are with us in that. I thank you that we will have the faith to believe that the palace is coming. The palace is coming for our marriage. The palace is coming for our purpose. The palace is coming for our children. The palace is coming for our relationships. We declare it, we believe it, and we more than anything trust you God. You have a plan for us that is bigger than anything we have ever written down or said. God I thank you that all week, people all over the world are going to be ripping up their lists and coming back to you and saying rewrite it. Tell me what I need to do, show me what I need to say, show me what I need to believe for. That we will win in relationships because we’re getting a new relationship goal. Father, give us aim. We trust You, we believe You, and we thank You, in Jesus name we agree.   

Altar Call: In that same attitude right now, if you’re here and you’ve never accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior, and you thought on your list that you were your god, you thought that you could do it yourself, and the truth is you have a lot of relationship holes that only God can fill. Today, it doesn’t matter who’s around you, who’s watching with you, what you’re smoking, or drinking, or who you slept with, what business deal you made, or how many zeros you have in the bank. The number one relationship goal you need is a relationship with Jesus Christ. Today, if you thought you were going to do it any way without him, rip up your list. Accept Jesus as your personal Lord and savior. Transformation church is a place that tells you, all of our lists have been messed up by the love of Jesus. Mike was someone addicted to porn, a liar, a manipulator, a cheater, and someone who did things he never thought he’d do. God says when you rip up your list and you give Him control of your life, He can take everything that looks like a mess and turn it into a message. Today, that’s what God wants to do with your life. Tears might be flowing, or your heart might be beating fast, this is your moment. Today is the day of salvation. Make this decision right now. There are people praying for you all over the world right now. If that’s you, on the count of three, lift your hand right now. You don’t need to care about what anybody would say about you, or about cleaning up yourself, or getting things right. God tells us if we give Him our heart, He will help us change our habits. Right now, 1. This is the best decision you’ve ever made. 2. God is proud of you and so are we. 3. Hands going up all over the world. We’re so proud of you. You can put your hand down. Transformation church is a family so we pray together.

Let’s Pray Together: God, thank you for sending Jesus, just for me. Today, I rip up my list and I ask you to be my Lord and savior. I believe you lived and you died, just for me. Take over.  Change me, renew me, transform me, I’m yours, in Jesus name, Amen.

• Text ‘Saved’ to 918-992-7623 for resources and content to help you to be His devoted disciple

Get “Relationship Goals” the book and study guide today for additional support:

Message Related Merch

SUMMARY NOTES

1. Your List for You Will Never Look Like God’s List For You
2. Formula of Frustration: Fabricated Expectations + Failed Reality = Feelings of Frustration
3. God is More Committed to Your Destiny than He Is To Your Desires
4. A God Dream is Never Created Based on Your Preference; A God Dream is Created Based on Your Purpose
5. The Path to The Palace, Many Times Passes Through The Pit
6. The Betrayal Wasn’t Meant to Break You; The Betrayal Was Allowed to Take You
7. Faithfully Serving the Season Always Produces Success
8. Prisons Become Platform
9. Rip Up Your List and Let God Rewrite It

Link to full Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88TTZgPrtko&t=6s

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