Mike Todd’s Introduction

• The culture has tried to hijack something it didn’t create
• Making it nasty, covered, something to sneak and see, not to talk about in church, etc.
• Sex needs to be discussed in a manner that gives God glory and make the devil look dumb
• Trey Songz did not invent sex, Marvin Gaye didn’t provide sexual healing – God invented sex
• Statistics tell us that 50% of all high school students will have a sexual interaction before graduating from high school
• We give the enemy the opportunity to mess with generations of people in secret
• Wherever there is knowledge, there is light and understanding – unlike darkness where the enemy can move
• Shine a light so that we can understand sex the way it was intended
• 78% of African Americans will have a sexual interaction before graduating from high school, 52% for Hispanics, 47% for Caucasians
• Many of were only told “don’t have sex before you get married” – it’s an incomplete instruction – not enough information
• • So what happens when you’re at a friend’s house watching Transformers, then the channel changes to something completely different? What happens if you looked for tissue at the house and found magazines instead? What happens if you were abused or touched illegitimately? For Mike, things were awakened and aroused and he wasn’t in control of it. You could have been in a place where you were supposed to be protected, instead, you were taken advantage of. What happens with this idea? Today, we need to redeem the topic of sex.  

1. Sex Is Good 

Sex is good.

Many of the things we have to come to the altar for or get counseling for have some tie to sexual perversion.

Let’s go for the root of it. It’s good, but the first reason it’s good is because sex was God’s idea

2. Sex Was God’s Idea

It’s not man made, it was divinely created by the creator. It was made by God for his children to enjoy in the right context.

Genesis 1:28 New Living Translation (NLT)

28 Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it.

This is what God intended for it to be.

Mark 10:6-7 New Living Translation (NLT)

6 But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. 7 ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife

‘Joined’ is three fold: Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually

It is not just physical, but an emotional and spiritual connecting.

When you did a sacred act, you joined together emotionally and spiritually.

We think God recognizes marriage from the wedding, that’s not when God recognizes a marriage. It’s recognized when the marriage is consummated to be joined into one.

When there’s a covenant made, there has to be bloodshed, hence, the hymen/bloodshed securing them together forever. This principle is used in the old Testament, circumcision/bloodshed for the old covenant to the new covenant, and with Jesus being sent to the cross, there was a new covenant made when there was bloodshed. God wants us to be in covenant, not just have a connection.

When you have sex, you’re making a commitment, you’re saying, “I do”. How many of us are married without the covenant?

We move through life acting like we’re not tied to anything. Like we have no emotional baggage tying us to anything.

Sex is good, it was God’s idea, it’s to be enjoyed in the right container. You just can’t have God’s results without God’s rules.

You ever wonder why you keep dating the same kind of person and the relationships end around the same time? For some people, it’s the same story, different face. The cycles that have been keeping you down and under wraps, God says who the son sets free is free indeed.

You can’t walk in freedom if you don’t understand truth.    

3. Sex Is Glue

The goal is to be stuck together forever. We don’t look at it that simply, that’s why we have experiences like one night stands.

The act of sex sets you up to be glued to these people you have sex with.

We come with all of our issues, desires, wants, one-night stands, connections, baggage, abuse, the secrets, the websites we look at and the fantasies we dream of.

Then we find someone that’s just as broken, but maybe “they go to church though”. They read their Bible, they’re on a streak on the Bible app, “he’s a man of God”, except after 11pm, when things start to change. He goes from watching cartoons to watching something else.

The situation seems right and they do a couple of things to make you feel special. You never met a man like this. No girl understands you like this – “she wears Jordans, likes sports, loves investments, etc.” Then one night, when everything is right, everyone is out of town, it’s raining outside, it’s a little cold and she has a snuggly blanket, and you were going to go back to your apartment but, “it’s late”. These are all the things that people say. “I’ve never felt like this about anybody before”.    

What happens is – sex is supposed to join the two together, forever.

But, “I’m in college, I can’t really settle down”, “I’m on my way to being a billionaire and music producer, so I can’t be tied down, but we have something special though,” “Maybe 5 years from now when I settle down and finish sowing my wild oats, then maybe we can get together, cause you’re the one”.

These are some of the mental, emotional, and manipulative games that get played.

Now, when you’re done with it and try to rip apart, the problem is when you try to rip apart something that was always supposed to be together, it will never look like what it looked like in the beginning.

Then pieces of you end up on them and vice versa.

This process, over and over again, you’re only a piece now. The other pieces are with everybody who didn’t have an investment in your future. You weren’t safe in the confines of marriage and other people are walking around with pieces of you.

Mark 10:8-9 New Living Translation (NLT)

to his wife 8 and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

When you take the sex outside of the container of marriage, you have more opportunity to damage than to help.

4. Sex Has a Container: Marriage

In the container, it can be a beautiful thing. Outside of the container, it can be destructive.

Like water, it can bring devastation outside of a container. Even when the water recedes, there can be mildew and residual effects.

‘In the marriage container, it protects you and everybody else.

God gave us a choice and the ability to stay pure. You have to choose to invite God into your every day life, every moment, so that you can have the power of the Holy Spirit to help you with every urge and desire.

This is about God’s plan of one:

• One God
• One Man
• One Woman
• One Marriage
• One Sex Partner
• One Flesh
• One Lifetime
• One Picture

Illustration: God gave Mike a promise (Natalie), and he traded in a treasure, for a try. How many of us are trading God’s treasures to try something that may not fulfill us?

If cycles haven’t changed in you, then you can be ‘old’ and still allowing your heart to allow you to go to places that God hasn’t touched.

You can be impure in your marriage. You can be in emotional relationships with strangers, even on Facebook/social media.

The broken relationships are the only thing that the children can eat from. If the mom and dad (one night stands etc.), doesn’t matter how it happens if we don’t allow the Holy Spirit to cut and restore us, then we pass it on to the next generation. Get sexually pure for your children if you won’t do it for yourself.

What you have seen/experienced about sex may not be God’s best for you.

5. Sex Has Been Perverted   

From the beginning, the enemy has tried to make what God said was good, to be considered as bad. The enemy wants to break God’s plan of one.

He doesn’t even show up until there was unity. Where there was unity, he had to break it up.

When you get to impurity, you always want to share it. Just like Eve tasted the fruit, and took it to Adam. “Since it’s our last time, let’s make it count” – share the guilt and the dysfunction with someone else.

The enemy tries to pervert what God said was good.

Just like Paul in Corinth (similar to Vegas – what happens there, stays there) – Then he said,

1 Corinthians 6:9 New Living Translation (NLT)

9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality,

Are you just going to wait for eternity or live like a king’s kid now?

Allow yourself to inherit what the king has prepared for you.

What is ‘doing wrong’?

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 New Living Translation (NLT)

9 Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, 10 or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.

Your white lie is on the same level as male prostitution. You can’t look to your left and right, instead, be led by the holy spirit and walk it out.

Stop trying to figure out the line of sin and try to get into the life of success with God.

1 Corinthians 6:11-12 New Living Translation (NLT)

11 Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Avoiding Sexual Sin

12 You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything.

If it wasn’t for the grace of God!! Thank God for his grace!

Judge others with the measure of grace you needed.

It’s time for us to live a life that’s in view of God’s grace for us.

Not everything is good for you.

12 You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything.

What are you a slave to? Food? People’s praise?

You need to get right. Not join with others, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

When you’re a slave to sexual immorality – it brings abuse, lying, deception – all of it’s friends. When we looked at David, he started manipulating, lying, making up stories – they don’t ‘come’ into your life, you invite them in!

6. Sex Creates Soul Ties 

The Soul: The Mind, the Will, and the Emotions

Ties: Entanglement

Soul Ties: The mind, will, and emotions entangled.

Many of us are walking through life tied to people, places, and ideas due to being joined through the act of sex outside of marriage.

When we pay attention to our feelings, we pay attention to our flesh. The truth will make sense for your life.  

You may need to unfollow people because you’re giving them access to your gate. That one seed or moment you felt something can end up in you holding a baby nine months later. Get away from the soul ties.

Maybe it was ‘your first’?

Your mind can get entangled. When you smell a perfume years later, you still get a feeling.

Then you met a friend – maybe even in Bible study.

You became ‘friends with benefits’. You study the Bible, but still have sex casually.

The relationship might start with you thinking about the future, but end up delaying both of your futures. Now when you’re at church, you think about whether or not he/she’ll be there.

You can’t even worship right because you’re tied.

Then, you may have had someone who abused you. Then you hide the abuse because someone didn’t believe you.

You may be hiding under 30 years of silence.

Somebody may have robbed you of something.

Now you have ‘your first’, your ‘friend with benefits’, and ‘abuser’ still tying up your emotions.

Then you ‘quit’ because you feel weaker even though this was supposed to be the year of ‘stronger’. You stop fighting for purity and give yourself the opportunity to become connected to somebody else.

Now, you have had sex because you’re ‘about to get married’. ‘One last hurrah’.

God is trying to get the residue off of you, but you have all of these ties, and sin is causing a setback in your life. Don’t fool yourself just because you ‘set a date’ for your wedding.

Some of you may need to move up the date because you can’t stay pure and refrain from sexual sin.

God can’t give you the inheritance He has set for you.

Then, some of us fall for ‘setbacks’.

You thought you were doing okay, then you see tall, dark, handsome, and rich. You see a lifestyle that you want with designer bags etc.

Now you’re trying to fake your way into a different life that will eventually be classified as a setback.

Change some names in your phone to ‘setback’ so that you know every time you answer the phone, you are potentially setting back the plan God has for you.

Then eventually, you may get one of your entanglements off, and get a little freedom, but you may still have the rest.

The most covert issue plaguing people is hooking up with people who are “kinda saved”.

Now you’re walking toward purpose, and almost to the position of where you’re supposed to be, you can almost write the book, you can almost change something, but you haven’t been loosened from the ties.

Message Title: There Is No Condom for Your Heart

7. There Is No Condom for Your Heart 

Your heart gets affected from sexual immorality. We think we’re practicing safe sex by wearing condoms. The only way to wrap up your heart is in the word of God. You must guard your heart above all other things because out of it flows the issues of life.

If you don’t protect your heart, your heart is the thing that gets affected.

The only way to practice safe sex is to submit it to God.

The only safe sex: Sacred, Anointed, Faithful, and Exclusive  

What if God was as faithful to you as the way you have been to your spouse?

A covenant is not a contract. A covenant is meant to last forever.

People come before God to get married, but don’t go back to Him when you want a divorce. Bring all the same people back to your wedding. Tell them you lied. Tell them you said ‘until death do u part’, but you meant ‘until they annoy you enough’.

The truth is, many of us are all tied up.

You can’t control when the first is about to get married and your soul ties start hooking up with one another. You can’t control them because you left them behind.

The entanglement is stronger now because it’s tied in many ways now. Men with men, women with women, the kinda saved friend with the setback, etc.  

Since you can’t let them go on willpower, you try to get to another level with the same setbacks. You keep bargaining with all of the people and the emotional drama in order to try and take steps toward your purpose. Nevertheless, you’re still all tied up.

You’re still emotionally, physically, and spiritually tied with people.

What’s worse is that now you can’t even go after who you’re supposed to be with because if they knew what you were still tied to, they may not even consider you. Therefore, the lies keep going and all the past and soul ties are kept in the dark.

If you do not check your perversions, thoughts, and intentions with God before you get married, then you only invite somebody in so that you can hurt them.

How Do I Get Untangled?

• Cut It – Run from sexual sin!
• Call It – Don’t get out of the relationship then romanticize it – call it what it was, ‘a thief’ it stole your time. Stop calling people that stole from you ‘the best you ever had’
• Confess It – Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other; the righteous prayers have results. Who have you told what you’ve done to others and what you’re actually thinking? The past has a hold on you.
• Cancel It – Have you ever seen a show that doesn’t work, then they cancel it. All the advertising stops, everyone is disbanded, nobody is associated with it. Some of you have ended the relationships and still running the reruns. Cancel it. Give them back their stuff. You’re valuable, you’re worthy, you’re a kings kid. Until you understand you’re worthy, you won’t cancel what God needs you to
• Cast It – Cast your anxieties, cares, mistakes on Him. He cares about you. That’s why Paul said, 1 Corinthians 6:13 New Living Translation (NLT) – 13 You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies.

God needs to you to surrender your sexuality.

8. Surrender Your Sexuality 

God will take all of it. Surrender your marriage and any distance. God can give you the best marital sex life you have ever had, but you can’t do it alone, you must surrender it.

God isn’t scared of any of your identity struggles or thoughts, abuse, wild thoughts, or entanglements. He cares about you and cares about your body.

Soul ties can be tiring. You can decide to lay down and ask God to get you. The real power of God can help you.

1 Corinthians 6:14 New Living Translation (NLT)

14 And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead.

God – not your meditation, not your good thoughts, not staying under the radar.

God is your answer.

When we meditate, we go over the same thing every time. Some of us read for sport, or to get a streak. Maybe this week, stay on a scripture every day until it starts to say different things.

If God can raise a dead body, why do you think he can’t manage a living one?

He can manage your sexuality.

At the end of your rope is where the power of the Holy Spirit comes in to cut you free.

Whatever was tied to you, becomes your testimony. You can say you used to be a hoe, but now you’re holy. You used to feel worthless, but now you’re worthy.

Surrender everything to God. Give Him everything. Give Him your will. Ask Him to use you.

Say, ‘Lord, I am available to you. My will, I give to you. I’ll do what you say. Use me Lord, to show someone the way and enable me to say my storage is empty and I am available to You.”

A Prayer of Sexual Surrender

(relationship goals book page 117)

God, I don’t know how to do this on my own, so I am giving You my sexuality. I have done things, said things, experienced things that I know were outside Your will for me. And today I’m asking You to take ownership. I want to live a life of value that is centered in Your love for me and not my desire for temporary fulfillment.

Reset my priorities to purity. Refocus my thoughts on faithfulness. Renew my mind with Your identity for me. Rebuild my self-worth until I truly believe I’m Your masterpiece. Realign my perspective to see myself and others the way You see us. Restore my broken pieces and make me new.

I give you permission to uproot my damages areas of rejection, pain, hurt, shame, guilt, and bad examples that negatively shaped my perspective. And I’m asking for you to cultivate in me the fruits of the Spirit from Galatians 5 that will produce love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I surrender my sexuality. I’m Yours.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

Altar Call: Today we surrender our sexuality to you God. Purify us O’ God. Search us O’ Lord. Thank you Father God for transforming us. Sex is good because it is God’s idea. Thank you for the container of marriage that allows us to succeed. Don’t fight this moment. God is healing deep things right now. How much does your healing cost? By His Holy Spirit God is severing some of our memories. Stuff are snapping off of you. You won’t have the desire for it anymore. You won’t have the taste for it. The appetite is going away.

He is available to you. If you’ve already accepted him, begin to pray. This is not an accident, this is an appointment. Give Him your heart, and He will help change your habits. If you would just believe He died for you, and rose again with all power, you will be saved. Turn, repent from the way that you’ve been doing it, and follow Him. God will give you the light that leads to life. Today that’s what God is offering to you. If that’s you, on the count of three, just slip your hand up in the air. This is the day of salvation, not tomorrow, it’s not promised to us. If that’s you, 1. You’re making the greatest decision you’ve ever made. 2. You are the one that God has been coming after and we’re proud of you, but more importantly, He is proud of you. 3. Just lift that hand up right there. God sees you. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a room by yourself or with your family. You can put your hand down. Transformation church is a family so we pray together.

Let’s Pray Together: God, thank you for sending Jesus, to shed his blood just for me. Today I surrender. I believe you lived, you died, and you rose again, just for me, with all my ties and baggage, you still love me. Today, I give you my life. Change me, renew me, transform me, I’m yours, from this day forward, in Jesus name, Amen.

• Text ‘Saved’ to 918-992-7623 for resources and information to help you pick out your new clothes

The old has passed away, behold that everything is new. God doesn’t see you ‘how you see you’, He sees you through His son Jesus. He sees Jesus, not your mistakes and mess-ups. When Jesus died for your sins, he took the penalty of it too.

We’re doing something called the D.I.G on Wednesday night at 7pm CST.

Guard your heart above all else, because there is no condom for the heart. For every person that’s a setback in your life, name them setback in your phone. For some of you, change your number. There needs to be a ‘run’ in your life.

Go and live a transformed life. 

Get “Relationship Goals” the book and study guide today for additional support:

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SUMMARY NOTES

1. Sex Is Good
2. Sex Was God’s Idea
3. Sex Is Glue
4. Sex Has a Container: Marriage
5. Sex Has Been Perverted
6. Sex Creates Soul Ties   
7. There Is No Condom for Your Heart

– The only safe sex: Sacred, Anointed, Faithful, and Exclusive

– How Do I Get Untangled? Cut It, Call It, Confess It, Cancel It, and Cast It

8. Surrender Your Sexuality

Link to full Video: TBD

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D.I.G. // Deeper In God

The D.I.G. stands for Deeper In God and it is a conversation where we dive deeper in God. Join us this Wednesday at 7pm(cst)! — https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYv-siSKd3Gn9IsliO95gIw