Brie Davis’ Introduction
- What has strengthened Brie the most is loss
- She has seen the strength of God through her loss
- Today Brie is here for those of you who have felt surrounded by loss
- There are gifts in loss
- If we took on a God perspective, we’ll see there are gifts in loss
Message Title: I’m Glad I Lost
Illustration: Brie loved tether ball and it was one of the only sports she was good at. Her parents put a tether ball in the backyard and kids would come to play. She was a champion. One day, she was playing a game with a boy who was such a sore loser that he ran after her, jumped on her back, and commenced to beat her up. He was 4 years younger, and 4 inches shorter, but she wasn’t a fighter. Often times, that’s how we react to loss. It’s because we can’t see the gifts of loss. We want to fight instead of asking God what He wants to give us through this loss. He can give us gifts through packages of pain, loss, and darkness. He gives us treasures hidden in darkness.
Our God hides treasures in darkness. Even through loss, our God is giving us a gift. We don’t have to be sore losers, nor do we have to fear loss. Whatever the enemy meant for evil, God can use it for good. What have you lost?
What do you feel like you have lost? Have you noticed that there are gifts in the middle of that loss?
Illustration: Brie and her husband have been married for 5 years. They went to pre-marital counseling and the counselor said their marriage will minister to people. Brie thought it would be through glitz and glam and people asking for advice. She didn’t know that the ministry would be able to come through loss, instead of success. This ministry came through infidelity in the first year of their marriage. It was the worst year of their lives. Brie was crushed. She never experienced loss, betrayal, sadness, or depression like this before. It tried to take the light and life of God out of her. She felt absolutely betrayed by her husband, but even more so, by God. Before getting married, Brie prayed about it, and fasted, and got counseling, and saved herself for marriage to create a healthy foundation to live upon. She felt like God said ‘yes’ to them getting married, but “how could a good God say yes, knowing she would be betrayed?” Brie asked herself, how could God say yes to her experiencing that kind of pain and loss.
We ask questions like:
“Why would you allow me to have this child and the child have disability?”
“Why would you allow me to have this marriage and end up divorced?”
“Why would you allow me to have this dream and for the dream to not work out?”
“Why would you allow me to have this business plan and then let the business fail?”
As Brie has walked this question/journey out – she learned that whatever the enemy meant for evil, God meant for good.
God created wells of living waters in Brie that would have never happened. If it wasn’t for that loss, she would have never gotten so deep in Christ.
He has not forgotten you, and He has not forsaken you. He sees you, knows you, and has good plans for you.
There are gifts we receive through loss and devastation.
John 11:1-3 New Living Translation (NLT)
The Raising of Lazarus
11 A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. 2 This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair.[a] Her brother, Lazarus, was sick. 3 So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.”
1. The Gift of Devastation is Dependence
Our society shows that independence is a sign of maturity. In the kingdom of God, maturity is dependence.
The more you try to get away from God, the more immature you are.
It’s not until you experience some kind of devastation that you realize how much you need God.
It’s in our times of devastation that we can recognize our need for God.
If Lazarus had not gotten sick, they would not have had to seek out God. They needed him. Our devastation makes us more aware of God and our need for him.
Illustration: Four years after infidelity, there are still major triggers for Brie. They bring up sadness, anger, etc. The other day, she had a trigger night and she was emotional. She asked God, “when am I going to be over this?” The Holy Spirit reminded her that if she didn’t have that emotional trigger, she wouldn’t have called out to God. Those moments allow Brie to call out to God. These are reminders of our need for the presence of God.
You cannot do this life on your own.
We will all experience loss in some way.
Brie doesn’t want to need God all the time, because she has to admit her weaknesses. However, she does need Him, and we do too.
When Lazarus got sick, they were reminded that they needed Jesus.
2. The Gift of Grief Is Glory
John 11:4 New Living Translation (NLT)
4 But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.”
The glory of God is the manifestation of God’s holiness. It is the going public of God’s holiness – His completeness, His fullness, and His perfection.
Grief helps us to see the perfection of who God is.
Grief allows us to see that He is close to the brokenhearted, despite standing outside of time.
It allows us to see God could be joy in the midst of sorrow. He can take ashes and create beauty out of them. We can see that He is a lion and defends on our behalf, but is also the lamb, our comforter and peace. Our God is “both and” – He is full, and complete, and perfect.
They knew Jesus as a healer, but not as a resurrector. They called on Him when He got sick, but it was only when He died that they really saw His glory. They never saw Him resurrect someone from the dead.
Their grief allowed Jesus to show up, and go public, in all of his fullness and completeness of who He is – His glory.
Our God is there for the good and bad days. He is our defender and champion. He is “both and”.
We don’t often get to tap into glory until we experience something where God needs to show us fully who He is.
John 11:5-6 New Living Translation (NLT)
5 So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, 6 he stayed where he was for the next two days.
3. The Gift of Frustration is Fruit
Lazarus was Jesus’ friend. When they called Him, they expected an immediate response because of the relationship.
Brie expected immediate healing and for Him to immediately turn the situation around. Love will make you wait.
Jesus stayed for two days, even though He loved them.
You cannot say you have love until you’re surrounded by hate. When you’re surrounding by chaos and torment, you can see if you have the peace of God. When you’re joyful in the midst of sorrow, then you know you have joy. You have self-control when you’re surrounded by temptations and you refrain from them.
We don’t know what we have until something frustrates these elements of our lives.
They sent for Jesus and He waited.
In their position, we may have been upset.
The messenger had to go back to Mary and Martha and tell them what Jesus said. What do you do when the God you trust in, waits? What do you do in those moments? Know that waiting isn’t wasted. If you are in a waiting season for God to produce light out of the loss you experienced, there is something being developed in you right now, like character and fruit.
Jesus made them wait. He knew what was going to happen next. We want him to come immediately because we don’t know what’s going to happen next.
We have to trust in the sovereignty of God. He knows the end and the beginning. We have to trust in this when we are waiting for Him.
John 11:11-15 New Living Translation (NLT)
11 Then he said, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but now I will go and wake him up.”
12 The disciples said, “Lord, if he is sleeping, he will soon get better!” 13 They thought Jesus meant Lazarus was simply sleeping, but Jesus meant Lazarus had died.
14 So he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. 15 And for your sakes, I’m glad I wasn’t there, for now you will really believe. Come, let’s go see him.”
Jesus is talking to His disciples – the people around Him all the time. They saw Him do things only Jesus could do – and yet, He said, “I’m glad I wasn’t there, for now you will really believe.”
Believing He exists doesn’t mean you actually trust Him.
When infidelity happened, Brie realized that her life was built on, “God is good, because my life is good”. When she was face to face with loss, she had to decide whether or not she trusted the God she believed in.
When you have loss, you realize that “control” is an illusion. When loss happens, you realize you’re not in control.
4. The Gift of Trauma is Trust
When trauma knocks on your door, you come face to face with the reality of whether you trust God or not.
It can feel like the trauma/devastation is in control. When we fix our eyes on Jesus, we can recognize that we have already gotten victory and our God is surrounding it.
Our God is bigger and stronger than our loss. He is bigger, and stronger, and He is in control, not us.
The gift of trauma is trust.
John 11:33-35 New Living Translation (NLT)
33 When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. 34 “Where have you put him?” he asked them.
They told him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Then Jesus wept.
Brie heard this scripture a lot of times. What was Jesus weeping about?
Could Jesus have been crying because He had to separate Lazarus from heaven? Could Jesus have been crying because the people who had been in pain couldn’t see the gain? He was in a place where there was no weeping, no pain, no loss? Could He have been crying because they couldn’t see the gain?
5. The Gift of Pain is Perspective
There is something you can gain from the pain you are experiencing right now.
Could Jesus want us to have a different perspective of our pain? Experiencing loss tells us that we are more than conquerors. We haven’t just defeated our enemy, that enemy is now serving us.
Brie’s pain served, deepened, and matured her. It gave her a better description of God, she prayed more, it taught her how to love, how to forgive, and what empathy was. God gives gifts in pain. We have to change our perspective and see how the pain is serving us.
You would have never known what it felt like to empathize with someone else’s pain until you go through your own loss.
Brie was so depressed, she had no idea how she made it from day to day. She got to see how infinite and powerful God really was, and watch Him take something that looked impossible, and create beauty out of it.
Brie wouldn’t wish the pain on her worse enemy before she realized there’s gain in it. God needed her to change her perspective.
John 11:38-44 New Living Translation (NLT)
38 Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance. 39 “Roll the stone aside,” Jesus told them.
But Martha, the dead man’s sister, protested, “Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.”
40 Jesus responded, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?” 41 So they rolled the stone aside. Then Jesus looked up to heaven and said, “Father, thank you for hearing me. 42 You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” 43 Then Jesus shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in graveclothes, his face wrapped in a headcloth. Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him go!”
6. The Gift of Loss is Life
Brie has experienced a brand new life in Christ because of loss.
How do we experience life after loss? Martha protested about rolling the stone aside.
How do we experience life after loss?
1. Vulnerability
We have to be vulnerable. It opens us up to healing. We have to open ourselves up and be vulnerable. “Right here, where the smell is coming from, that’s where I need You.”
2. Word of God
We have to be in the word of God. When Brie was separated, she had sticky notes of God’s word all around her house. You have to remind yourself of what God has said through the Word of God. We need that truth to defeat all of the lies that loss has told us.
3. Prayer
You have to have a prayer life. Jesus looked up to heaven and said, “Father, thank you for hearing me. You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.”
4. Declare
After praying, He spoke to Lazarus. We must say out loud what God said over us. Jesus said, “come out”. All you have to do is say, “come out. You do not have the victory over me.” You can declare over things, just as Jesus did.
5. Community
Jesus told them to unwrap him. God put the power of resurrection in Jesus and the power of healing in our community. You may be alive in Christ but not living life abundantly because of your lack of community.
Community helps to unwrap us so that we can live in the freedom in which God has called us to live in.
We can experience life after loss.
What Jesus was doing in this story was foreshadowing what was going to happen to Him. He showed them what He was going to do with himself. Our God has experienced loss, sorrow, frustration, devastation, and physical and emotional trauma. He can empathize with us. He has experienced it all.
He defeated death, hell, and the grave on our behalf.
1 Corinthians 15:54-55 New Living Translation (NLT)
54 Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled:
“Death is swallowed up in victory.
55 O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”
We get to experience His resurrection power even in the midst of loss.
We don’t know what you lost – a family member, a coworker, a job. You may have known Jesus as a healer. Today, Brie wants you to know Him as a resurrector, who can bring life out of loss.
When it seems like all hope is gone, God is right there with you right now. You’ve experienced loss. Today, why don’t you accept life? This loss may not be a 2020 thing, you may feel like you lost from when you were born. You may feel like you had an ‘L’ from the parents you got. God has gifts for you. He has a new life for you. You have coddled the loss for too long. Today, why not trade your loss for His life? There’s new life in Him.
Prayer & Altar Call: God you can create beauty from ashes. You can create good out of whatever life gives us. We are grateful for Your healing and Your resurrecting power. We pray for every person in a season of loss. We thank You for Your purpose. Even in the midst of loss, You have a plan, You are close, and You have gifts and treasures. Just as You have healed marriages, identities, and hearts, we thank You for wanting to do this to someone else today. Thank You for bringing good out of what the enemy meant for evil. God, give us new life and show us the gifts that come from loss, pain, and suffering. Help us to see that there are things from You that are ‘for us’ and not ‘against us’.
Dear God, thank You for loving me. Thank You for sending Your son to die for me. Jesus thank You for laying down Your life to save mine. I admit I’ve made mistakes, I pray You would save me, change me, and transform me. In Jesus name, Amen.
- Text ‘Saved’ to 918-992-7623 for resources and content to help you trade your loss for His life
One day, you will be able to say, “I’m glad I lost”, and you will see the gifts that God has given you.
You can still get “Relationship Goals” the book and study guide today for additional support in your relationships:
Latest Arrivals in Merch
SUMMARY NOTES
- The Gift of Devastation is Dependence
- The Gift of Grief Is Glory
- The Gift of Frustration is Fruit
- The Gift of Trauma is Trust
- The Gift of Pain is Perspective
- The Gift of Loss is Life – How do we experience life after loss?
- Vulnerability
- Word of God
- Prayer
- Declare
- Community
Link to full Video: TBD
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Abby Olurin Dames
I love Jesus, my husband, Will, my toddler daughter, Sola, and the beautiful friends and family in our lives. Me and Will are from the Bahamas, but we currently reside in Austin, Texas. We joined TC Nation as online members of Transformation Church in 2017 when we moved to Austin from Miami, Florida. In 2020, we also happily took on a more active role with the E-Fam of Elevation Church by fellowshipping with other married couples and were pleased to have the opportunity to join TC Beta Belong Groups. I believe that representing God doesn’t have to be done in “traditional spaces”. After listening to Pastor Mike's sermon, "Who's the Minister Here?", it became my mission to shed light on Christ in all arenas, including, but not limited to, corporate America, marketing, technology, and finance. I'm not perfect, but I'm progressing. I am a marketer, but first, I am a Christian, and the aim of this blog is to publicly share my sermon notes as a form of stewardship. I hope that these message notes can bring clarity to anything you may be seeking and help you to experience the peace and glory of Jesus Christ. I'm happy to pray for you as well if you ever wanted to shoot me an email. The effectual fervent prayers of many of you have helped countless circumstances in my life and in the lives of those around me. Thank you! Also, for any Amazon specific links that you see, as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
